realmud garden

new beginnings

2011-07-22T11:30:00.000-05:00

For those of you who followed my blog here over the years, I reiterate my gratitude. I promised that I would be unable to keep from my writing; I'm continuing to blog my thoughts, insights and misgivings as they occur, in no particular order, over at realmudgarden.com. Gardening will without a doubt be a part of it from time to time, but I cannot predict how or how much. Still, my writing will most likely not be a great departure from this blog, even though at a new address. I have never been able to see my life as separate pages of experience, seeing it more as a continuum, with varying degrees of colour, intensity or flavour in its different parts...See you at realmudgarden.com.

good-bye

2009-10-07T10:59:00.002-05:00

I have come to the decision that it's time to put this blog to bed. I will still write -- can't stop myself! And it goes without saying, I will still be gardening. This blog will remain up, just not updated, and I may write from time to time on one of my other sites (see sidebar).

I just have to say, it has been exciting and very moving to connect with people through this medium. So, a big Thank-you to those of you who have stopped by from time to time, to share my love of gardening and life. And Thank-you to all those who took the time to comment, to encourage me and to cheer me on.

green urban activism

2009-10-05T23:22:00.001-05:00

how to green the advertizing covering by creating plant pockets!

connections

2009-10-05T21:27:00.003-05:00

I've been exploring some connections to other local gardening resources and people lately.

Here I'll share a few:

Canadian Organic Growers

Greenest City

Food Share

Playing in the Dirt, a local blogger

Sustainable Living in Durham

Toronto Gardens, a blog about Toronto gardens

Empress of Dirt

Urban Veggie Garden Blog

The Veggie Garden Reimagined

Tiny Farm Blog

Toronto Community Gardens Network

City Farmer's Urban Agriculture Notes

Rough Terrain

American Community Gardening Association

change

2009-10-05T18:47:00.006-05:00

I have always been inspired by people who have made changes to make the world a better place. You probably know some of them. Or maybe you saw CNN's Top 10 Heroes of 2009, announced on Thursday.

Those people saw a need and found a way they could fill it.

But agents of change can be ordinary people like you and me. We all have dreams, creative desires. I think we are meant to be our dreams for ourselves and the world. By being our best selves, to quote Oprah, we are agents of change for the better in our world, even if only in a small way, in our small spheres.

Maybe the change you long for is in your job. Here's what to do in the meantime.

Or maybe you are contemplating ways to fill a need you see in the world around you. Here are some of the qualities you possess that will ensure you can make those changes.

I just passed a "milestone birthday". It has me contemplating what I will do with the next stage in my life. I'll try to update you here on the changes that I'll be making!

run-away dogs

2009-10-05T17:22:00.004-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately (as you probably could tell from my last post) about the troubles between men and women. And as fate would have it, life immediately handed me many experiences to highlight just those problems: a friend had her husband leave her and her children, but not before cleaning out their joint bank account; a woman friend confessed that her young son rules the roost at home; a long conversation with a friend revolved around the many ways her husband either fails, is unable to or opts out of being an equal partner in parenting; another conversation revolved around the unfolding drama of Jon and Kate (of the TLC reality show revolving around the family of twins plus sextuplets).

A story I've alluded to before, popped into my mind. It involves a little dog who was adopted from an animal shelter. Loud noises always caused the dog to panic and on this particular occassion, the dog manages to escape its safe new home, to start running.

It runs and runs and runs, deaf and blind with all the fears unleashed by the loud noise of an automobile back-firing or something. It does not hear its name being called. It is not aware of its loving, adopted "mother" running after it. Perhaps a faint note of recognition registers in the poor dog's head as it hears its new name being called. Perhaps it is just exhausted. However, it finally slows down enough so that its adopted "mother" can catch it and when she does, the dog is shaking, wild with fear.

Now, all too often, the response of the adopted "mother" here could be to yell at the dog, to try to explain how wrong the dog is to run off, even to punish it for running away, for not obeying when it was called. Or, the loving response is, to hug the dog close, comfort it, soothe away the fear and gently bring it back home.

Knowing the back-story, knowing that the dog had been considered practically "un-adoptable" because it had suffered horrific abuse before coming to the animal shelter, the adopted "mother" understood the dog's fear, understood that the only remedy is consistent, unfailing love.

Maybe it is because I was recently bitten by a protective mama dog. Or maybe it is because I had a dream the other night that I was a stray dog myself. Anyhow, the story popped into my head because I was remembering a question my son often asked me when he was growing up. He asked why he should have to pay for the mistakes other men had made in relation to women, why his intentions would be questioned, why he could not relate to women simply as himself, that depending on the circumstance, women would mistrust or even fear him just because he is a man.

In contemplating the story, it occurred to me that in the relationships between men and women, the dog could be a description of either men or women. Either a man or a woman can run away from love out of panic triggered by the fear of something in our history that has shaped us.

And it's just that unknowable history of a stray dog in an animal shelter that is so similar to the can of worms in our personal and cultural back-stories, that can make us re-live history over and over again.

But we know a little bit of that back-story between men and women. We know men profit from the theme of aggression and violence against women (look at some of the most popular video games ). We know that men profit from their position of power. We know that men and women assume a certain order to life, business and personal relationships based on the stereotypes of men in power. And the story isn't over by a long shot.

However, uncovering that story is only the beginning of the healing that I believe is absolutely essential between men and women. And I'm surprised again and again at how difficult even that is, uncovering the story, being able to tell it, being able to hear it.

And yet, here and there, I encounter hopeful signs:

Why the Global Women's Crusade Needs Men

belief

2009-09-20T08:21:00.003-05:00

Things have changed, and I'm not sure when it happened.

I had a conversation with my best friend M. the other day about relationships and it occurred to me that things have changed. Now, I'm about to use a phrase I always hated when my mother used it, but here goes anyway: I'm old enough to remember the sixties, those heady times when there nearly was a revolution, when young people, full of idealism thought that a new world order was possible, a new world order based on love instead of money and power.

Grant you, a lot of the parading about and speechy-fying was done by the fellas and the meals were put together by women in the background. And then there were even a few men who started taking on more of the "caring" roles. There was talk of real equality and the sexual revolution followed.

However things changed. The pendulum swung back and the majority of those fellas who talked of love and community, sexual equality, soon became even more materialistic and power-hungry than perhaps their fathers had ever been.

What happened to the idea that "all you need is love"?

Somehow, it seems we have fallen into a terrible pit of narcissism, greed and fear. We feed our feelings of isolation, loneliness and shame with material things, and the ideas of social justice and the principle of the equality of all human beings have taken a back seat to our fight for supremacy. If we cannot subdue those we fear, we will keep them out with walls and homeland security. Disappointed by love, we have replaced connection to other beings with collecting things and protecting those things, with violence if need be. And as the desire for possessing things has grown, the value system that placed life before things has crumbled away.

A fantasy of love is out there, an attitude that treats people like objects, to be discarded when they don't meet our needs, still thrill, or fail to meet some criterion or another.

Without an understanding of the divine power of love, we have all too willingly become party to governments who spend a pittance on social welfare services while pursuing policies of economical and military aggression. The social activitist of the 60's now easily defines himself as a social liberal AND a fiscal conservative.

Marianne Williamson in The Healing of America says: "There is so much injustice in America, and such a conspiracy not to discuss it; and so much suffering, and so much deflection lest we notice. We are told that these problems are secondary, or that it would cost too much to fix them -- as though money is what matters most. Greed is considered legitimate now, while brotherly love is not."

I am always struck when I return from travels to countries in the Third World by the response of people to my decision to travel to those places, as if there are no difficult issues, no poverty, no starving children in the First World. The statistics that describe horrific poverty in Canada do nothing to help us see the face of poverty because we turn our backs. Sometimes, travel forces us out of our comfort zone, but not if we can help it, not if we can hide away in gated resorts, hotel developments that are surreal islands of self-indulgence in the middle of frightening poverty and hardship.

The social activists of the 60's have abandoned their commitment to social justice because love of their fellow man would have demanded the hard work of changing and reorganizing the social and political systems that perpetuate the inequalities. The resulting backlash against welfare in America today, Williamson contends, "is not really a backlash against welfare abuse, so much as it is a backlash against compassion in the public sphere."

And to support greed and materialism, one must support domination. And being back to domination, we are back to a world without love.

Many in our country like to call it a Christian country, founded by people who held Christian ideals. If God is love, and love gives life, why do our governments uphold policies that value money over love, the progress of commerce and industry over the value of life (either by destroying the natural environment that supports life or treating human beings as statistics: a "market" or a source of labour, etc.)

I am horrified by the man in India who killed his wife because he suspects that she was cheating on him. Why? Because he believes women are inherently inferior and dangerous creatures. However, I experience this attitude of domination still in our supposedly socially advanced culture.

It is terribly commonplace now for women(and men too) to have "something done", ie surgically or chemically, in an effort to be more appealing as...what, a commodity? While few men say they want this, most men on internet dating sites want a picture first. And the odd, horribly-honest man even admits that he is looking for a Barbie who has had "work done", as incredible as that may seem!

Most profiles on internet dating sites describe a love of walking hand in hand on beaches, or cuddling on the couch to watch a movie, wine and candles. How unrealistic is that? Little talk of chores, dirty dishes, juggling working lives, managing money, sharing values and goals, beliefs, politics, social activism...

In the workplace, it is still commonplace for men (usually in a position of power)to be angry and verbally abusive and expect that an apology (if offered) exonerates them ( it should be understood that they are under stress, etc., while a subordinate who responds with violence or verbal abuse is much more often reprimanded for un-professional behavior).

It is still not unheard of that women complain that the stuff of caring for a house and children is still their territory (often of their own choosing because they do not trust a man to do a good enough job). Relationships also seem to be women's territory as the social niceties often fall to a woman: planning and preparing for the holidays, the sending of cards, flowers or gifts to note the events in the lives of people around them.

Even though we (on the tail-end of the 60's generation) hopefully entered marriages that we stated we wanted to be equal partnerships, we quickly found ourselves falling into the habits we had learned in our homes. Women resorted to feminine wiles to get men to do what they wanted. Men easily gave over the care of children to women. Men expected women to cook and clean and care for them, to nourish them and take care of their needs. Women complained, but did not relinquish these roles that defined them, because they felt their high standards would not be met(rightly or wrongly). Men who might have made the effort to be emotionally available, caring and responsible husbands and fathers succumbed to the pressures of their peers' vision of what manhood was, and abandoned their children and wives, becoming emotionally and physically unavailable, in order to preserve their self-image of power. And with no idea of how to be loving, men and women left unhappy marriages, hoping to at the very least, escape the misery and loneliness, hoping to find true love somewhere else. We taught our children to be cynical, to wonder if true love even exists. Our friends who remain married, also cynical, advise those of us who are no longer are married, not to get married again -- love isn't possible, it's just too hard to "train another man", or to marry for money this time vs love, etc.,etc.!

We tried to redefine "man and woman", but fell back on a simplistic re-working of the same stereotypes we remained invested in: men are from Mars and women from Venus; men are strong and silent, while women are nurturing and verbal; yin and yang; women are mature caregivers, while men are childish idiots, etc., etc. Instinctively, we recognize the caricature and are amused by it. It provides endless fodder for comedians and sitcoms. But it has not been fundamentally challenged or reworked, for all we pretend to be so much more socially progressive than say the Muslim world, or traditional caste-bound India.

However, despite all that, I believe love is possible. I believe love is the only thing that is possible if we hope to survive as a species. Without love, we will continue to despoil the world, violently suppress anyone we encounter that we fear threatens our comfort, sustain our unhealthy narcissism with our greed, and continue to blindly tolerate every injustice.

And on a personal level, without love, we will continue to live tiny, narrow lives of lazy, childish self-indulgence, and never experience what love might work in our lives and through our lives to inspire personal growth and to better the lives of those we touch. We will just have to open our hearts, become vulnerable to love and have the courage to step into it, become the expression of loving-kindness to ourselves, our families and everybody we encounter, if we hope to truly live lives of meaning, even to save our world.

'Compassion and love are not mere luxuries. As the source both of inner and external peace, they are fundamental to the continued survival of our species.'

~~His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama

some further ideas:

Richard Warren Field's Wake Up Call for a Generation

Idealism vs reality - an opinion

The public option for US Health Care

Why Women Have Sex

Sex in Crisis: The New Sexual Revolution and the Future of American Politics

inspiration

2009-09-15T09:55:00.001-05:00

This is so timely and inspirational. I know I've posted about this guy before, but it's worth revisiting.

the lion whisperer

2009-09-11T18:53:00.002-05:00

On a happier note, here's a story about a guy who whispers to, plays and swims with lions.

Enjoy!

easy silence

2009-09-11T13:31:00.013-05:00

Borrowing the title from a Dixie Chicks song, I am wondering if I should let the day pass without remembering this anniversary of a terrible event; I'm tempted because it is so painful.

We can probably all remember where we were. I was wakened by my Youngest and Other Favorite Daughter who said I should get up and watch the news on TV, that something Big was happening. I can remember the shock and fear that went through my body. Then sadness, because I knew, knew in my bones, that this would not be over for a very, very long time.

I know I'm just one ordinary woman and I have far more questions than answers.

In my travels around the world, I have encountered so many people in the Third World in particular who live the results of the imbalance of power and wealth everyday, whose patience in the "trickle down" theory has long ago expired. While I didn't expect my friends would be rejoicing on this day (they were agonizingly saddened), I wasn't surprised either by the celebrations in the streets by some in the Muslim worlds.

For another Muslim point of view read Rashied Omar: Islam and Violence.

And the reactions in the First World were also so predictable and primitive. Blunt headed. Force and power never ultimately win out unless you are prepared to totally annihilate "the enemy". But who exactly are the enemy? Women and children too?

see Freedom’s Untidy: Democracy Promotion and Its Discontents

And then, what do you do about the niggling doubts within your own camp, those who think maybe we brought it upon ourselves by our oppressive foreign policies, creating a vacuum of thinkers and leaders wherever we enter to "bring democracy", siphoning out billions and billions of dollars from those countries with the natural resources we want with the conspiracy of their puppet leaders, leaving the citizens of these countries worse off than they were before we arrived there to offer them "development", having unimaginable dollars in our war chest all while spending pennies on aid, and giving aid into the hands of corrupt leaders without holding them accountable for anything but furthering our political/financial interests in those countries, aid that goes into foreign bank accounts of those leaders and again subjects their people to another suffocating layer of oppression and heartache.

(On another level, there are those that argue that aid organizations are a self-perpetuating agency unto themselves, or that aid perpetuates the very problems they seek to remedy.

See Dambisa Moyo and Why Aid to Africa Must Stop)

I wasn't surprised that voices of opposition to the US policy immediately after 9/11 were silenced. ( ideas to mull around this comes from Noam Chomsky and Edward S. Herman's bookbook Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media, and Naomi Klein's The Shock Doctrine )

See Green Day perform American Idiot

And I wasn't surprised that I found ordinary people I knew all around me, Canadians, suddenly identifying themselves with the Christian right and the US and ready to go out there and kill off the infidels and terrorists. The novelist Stephen Lewis said long ago that "when Fascism arrives it will be wrapped in a Flag and carrying a Bible." And several intriguing comparisons were made by some writers to the propaganda tactics of the US government post 9/11 and the fascist ideas of Hitler and the WWII era.

But as all such conflicts have deep, complex histories and no easy solutions, I struggled to find dispassionate readings while maintaining an open-hearted sympathy for suffering on all sides.

During the time since 9/11, among several books that I read related to this conflict, here are a couple of books that I found very thought provoking:

Infidel, by Hirsi Ali, Ayaan

Murder in Amsterdam: The Death of Theo van Gogh and the Limits of Tolerance, by Buruma, Ian

These two books sparked off a furious debate between the liberal idealists and conservative factions in the West, mostly among European intellectuals and politicians, trying to understand how the values of democracy seem to be working against the kind of society that has been our goal. For a more in-depth treatment of the debates see Peter Collier's article.

However, I have not seen much of this kind of real debate in the media in North America.

I longed to hear voices of reason. I longed to hear somebody speaking of hope and understanding. I longed to hear somebody admit wrong-doing and asking for forgiveness. But that is not likely to happen, is it. Having a conversation is just too hard.

Isn't it?

Conversation Cafes

Consensus Building

Beyond Intractability

colour

2009-09-10T10:01:00.006-05:00

Yes, one side of me is contemplative and I readily admit to being anti-social then. I need lots of time to think, day-dream, canoodle. Right now, it's been a kind of enforced meditation; I'm wondering if there's a reason I have had so many frustrations in the one part of my life that I find so invigorating, my running life. I've already mentioned the probable torn meniscus. Then there was the dog-bite and nasty sunburn, and shortly following that, the broken toe. All of that has had me, by turns, feeling quite blue, then seeing red.

But in the end, I think I've just learned that I don't have as much patience for myself and life's circumstances as I would have liked to think I have. In the meantime...

I'm continuing my studies in Amharic. It was useless to struggle against my need to approach it logically. I finally found, through this Ethiopian adoption blog, some useful links to sources that I can really get my teeth into. I might have initially impressed some people with my Amharic, but my spotty understanding and frail memory would have pretty quickly betrayed the fact that I don't have a clue in Amharic. Now, maybe I have a prayer of getting my head around the subject and I'll be happy if I am eventually as fluent in Amharic as I am in French (that's not aiming too high, perhaps!)

Another blog I devoured recently was Destination Ethiopia by Denise Baker, which describes her year as in intern in Ethiopia with an adoption agency. Read it "back-to-front", if you know what I mean, to follow her story chronologically.

perfection

2009-09-10T09:19:00.003-05:00

Don't you just love it when people who know what they are doing come and do what they do so well?

I just had blinds installed in my bedroom and I am so thrilled by how fast, neat and tidy the installer was. He guarantees the blinds won't come tumbling down ( as they might if I had tried to install them myself.) And I think they look wonderful. I can hardly wait to have blinds installed on the rest of my windows!

food and joy

2009-09-06T14:34:00.003-05:00

So, I'll declare my prejudice up front. I mistrust people who don't enjoy food. I just mean that there is something about people who are closed down around the issue of food that makes me nervous.

To amuse myself, I thought back to some of the people I have met lately and how they are about food and I thought, yes. How they are about food reveals a lot about who they are. So here I go; I'm about to reveal a great deal about who I am as well!

Among the various ways people are about food, the rules or excuses they have for the way they eat, the most horrifying I encountered most recently was someone who wanted to lose weight. To "get that full feeling", this person consumed gross volumes of some sort of Asian sea-weed noodle which purported to do nothing: no calories, no nutrition, not even any taste.

I can't imagine a more empty way of eating. Where is the soul? Where is the sizzle? Where is the lusciousness? Where is the zen? Where is the love?

Patanjali's Yoga Sutra describes an eight-limbed yogic path to enlightenment, (or ashtanga yoga), which suggests a program of ethical restraints or abstentions (yamas), lifestyle observances (niyamas), postures (asanas), breath control (pranayama), withdrawal of the senses (pratyahara), concentration (dharana), meditation (dhyana), and absorption into the Divine (samadhi).

The first and second limbs contain the 10 ethical precepts, or core values, of a yoga practice from which the postures flow and deepen, but may just as easily be adopted as the ethical and philosophical basis of a more joyful and healthy way of relating to food, and ultimately, life.

Rather than a set of do's and dont's, it is helpful to think of the yamas and niyamas as invitations to act in ways that promote inner and outer peace, making space for harmony and balance. By living with lovingkindness in harmony within yourself and in relationship to your environment and to others, consciousness and joy naturally arise.

Ahimsa: Non-harming/Non-violence

Non-violence is the opportunity to relinquish hostility and irritability, and instead make space within your consciousness for peace.

Though our modern lives are full of comfort, we have gradually become distant from, even suspicious of, our natural environment. Living in homes with heaters and air conditioners has isolated us from the changes in the four seasons. We are often separated by many thousands of miles from the sources of our food.

We are confused daily by contradictory scientific opinions as to what is good for us or not. And we are assaulted constantly by a food-industry that is more interested in creating a desire for manufactured foods for profit, not in providing nourishing foods that our bodies need.

We often despise our hunger and have developed a love/hate relationship to food. We are full of mistrust, misgivings, guilt and fear, even while we crave nourishment for our bodies and senses, and a connection to the natural world that sustains us.

I've seen people refuse to enjoy perfectly nutritious food because it falls into a "condemned" food group. I've seen people starve themselves before a big event so they can "pig out" on the big day. I've seen people eat only certain foods day after day, not out of enjoyment, but because of a belief that this diet is "good for them". I've seen people eat exactly what they like and how they like it, even though they "know" this diet ends up making them feel awful.

Just how many ways can we invent to be harsh with ourselves, to be violent towards ourselves?

Satya: Truthfulness

It is believed that if one is fully vested in satya, everything you say will come to be realized. If that is true, it is terrible to have that negative relationship to food which would result in all the dire consequences of those beliefs coming true: cancer, heart disease, diabetes, weight gain, skin blemishes, fragile bones, early senility, an untimely death, etc., etc.

However, satya is usually interpreted as "the Truth which equals love," a concept of truth which is not merely a synonym of fact or correctness, but is more metaphysical. With the integrity and humility to realize that the truth may be bigger than you, bigger even than the smartest scientists, you might be able to relax and let go of so many of the negative beliefs we have around food. It might help to realize that scientists are just asking the questions, making observations. There will always be more questions than answers.

Why not ask more questions? Experiment. See how food really makes you feel. Be open to discovering the truth about yourself and about food. Maybe you are something bigger than all those facts you believe about you and food.

Asteya: Non-stealing

Most people don't stop to consider all the different levels of energy involved in all they are consuming.

They look for cheap food, fast, without considering what it costs the farmer, the community, or the environment, to produce it and bring it to market. And they don't appreciate the people who prepare their food and serve it.

Our way of being in this world affects others. Ways that we can be obstructions to the enjoyment others have in life are by being judgmental, harsh, unkind, rude, stingy, selfish and greedy. How many ways do these traits express themselves around food?

Brahmacharya: Celibacy/restraint

Often interpreted to mean celibacy, brahmacharya is more about preventing the dissipation of one's energy through the misuse of the senses. It is more broadly interpreted to mean restraint, moderation and acting responsibly.

Not being aware of how emotions affect your appetite can get you in trouble so easily. Eating to fill the gap, whether emotional or physical, robs you of the opportunity to notice, to be present and enjoy all the other sensations of eating. Being aware, you enjoy the tastes, feel when you are full, and notice how different foods affect you.

Eating shouldn't be a chore. It shouldn't be an exercise in self-flaggellation. It needn't be a stressed-out measuring of portions and counting of calories. It doesn't need to be an obsessive adherence to a regimen. Simply being present and observing yourself, you notice tastes and sensations. You find certain foods are not only wonderful but leave you feeling truly nourished. You find other foods make you feel not so good, not so likely to want to repeat the experience.

Notice how the situation doesn't need your stress to resolve itself. And by not giving so much energy to food moments, you are more at ease and happier in relation to food, and appreciative of its place in relationship to the rest of your life.

Aparigraha: Non-grasping/non-hoarding

Just let it go.

If our homes are filled with old junk that isn't useful to us anymore, there's no room for new things to come in. That holds true for the nonmaterial ideas and attitudes you cling to as well. If you are hanging on to old beliefs about yourself or your relationship to food, or clinging to a diet that no longer nourishes and satisfies you, you are not open to new ways of eating and relating to food.

Even when you are happy and feel good with your diet, change brings new energy and revitalizes you. Being stuck in even a good rut is still a rut. You start to get attached to it and identify with it. It's easy to start thinking you are your healthy diet. But the truth is that nothing lasts forever. Beliefs and scientific findings come and go. Trends and fashions change. Food goes in and food goes out. Duh!

If your tendency to be grasping and hold on stems from a feeling of lack, the best way to let that go is to be present, recognize and acknowledge abundance, and practice gratitude.

Saucha: purity/cleanliness

You want to keep your thoughts uncluttered so you can feel free from afflictive emotions; you keep your body and environment in order, to create a sense of calm.

The physical practice of yoga deepens your awareness of your body, so you become more conscious of foods that bring you a consistent sense of well-being and those that make you feel bad after you eat them. Over time, you find you are in a more comfortable and relaxed relationship with food.

And look more deeply at what the body is: The more you clean it, the more you realize that it is an impermanent, decaying thing. Saucha helps break up excessive fixation with your body, or the bodies of others.

Santosha: Contentment

Contentment is really about accepting life as it is. It's not about creating perfection. Life will throw whatever it wants at you. Plan all you want: you ultimately have little control.

Be welcoming of what you get; remember to find joy in the experience. There are probably more ways people survive on strange foods than you had ever thought possible or healthy. Practice enlightened hedonism: eating satisfying food in smaller portions, without demonizing any food or food group. With a more sensitive palate, you don't have to eat as much, especially when you take the time to notice the most intense sensory pleasures of food.

Tapas: Right Effort

Tapas is translated as "self-discipline," "effort," or "internal fire". The Yoga Sutra suggests that tapas in action generates heat that will both burn away impurities and kindle the sparks of divinity within.

One goal of tapas is to stop anything you do mindlessly because you've become habituated. When you use your will to overcome your conditioning, you free yourself from the many unconscious actions that cause suffering. By eating consciously when you are truly hungry, by noticing what you are eating and how it tastes, how it makes you feel, and how it nourishes your body, you become more aware of what you do around food that either ultimately makes food an enjoyable part of life or not.

Svadhyaya: Self-Study

When you practice self-observation, you begin to uncover and address the unconscious patterns governing your life. When you can notice, but not judge, what you are doing and how you are feeling in every moment, you open a little space in your life for empathy towards yourself. That empathy also extends automatically to others.

As you notice your secrets and habits with kindness, you also notice that many others do the same things. In realizing the commonality we share in being human, forgiveness is so much easier. How divine!

Ishvara pranidhana: Dedication to the highest

We emphasize devotion and service, making an artistic offering to the greater good, and act with the intention of bringing more beauty and love into the world. Always pause to look for the higher essence in any situation.

We are not satisfied with slapping a meal on the table, something from the drive-through grabbed on the run, a meal eaten mechanically. There is something about eating food from a beautiful bowl, looking at a bunch of flowers in a vase on the table, the feel of a fine linen napkin.

Yoga represents one path toward enlightenment, wherein we give up our need for certainty and acknowledge the essential mystery of our lives.

Food is one of the greatest ways we have of embracing a bit of this mystery. It is a very "witchy" thing to grow food by planting a seed in the ground. The more we tamper with that process, the more of its essential nutritive values we rob from our food. There is hardly a nutrionist who can fault the simplest diet that is closest to its natural source, unprocessed and unrefined.

In Japanese Zen Buddhism, Shojin cooking emphasises this awareness of our connection to nature and the seasons. "Chori ni kometa aijo" means cooking with love. This is meant to include love for Buddha nature, for the people who eat our food, for the ingredients and even for the pots and pans. Shojin cooking embodies the belief that the essential flavour of the food comes from one's heart, from cooking with one's whole soul and from respecting the spirit of the kitchen.

There is a whole slow food movement that believes food is special not only because of the regional traditions employed in its making, but in the process which brings into play the care and attention of loving human hands.

Food is also a part of the place where it was grown. It is not only the taste but the very nutrients in the food that are affected by soil, climate and water.

How often have you found that your enjoyment of a glass of wine was dependent not only on the foods it was paired with, but with the company of your friends, the conversation, the setting where you enjoyed the meal and the way the sun was shining on that particular day. The same wine on another day without all those other components just didn't match up.

Food is a connection between people, between people and the earth. It is a celebration of life. The point of living is to be joyful and food is such a wonderful part of it. Very few social events take place in any culture without the ceremony of food.

Lovingkindness is something so many people desperately need. By giving ourselves a chance to live in harmony with our food, with ourselves and with the larger world, we may be able to be more joyful around food. By being relaxed, unashamed, appreciative, understanding and knowledgeable about food, we may go a long way towards redefining the concept of "eating well".

healing

2009-09-02T06:00:00.002-05:00

There are no words to explain what this photo means to me. It represents so many things.

It was an opportunity I took to give myself some breathing room, to inhale some of the soothing, healing scents of nature, to enjoy the complex worlds of interconnectedness of which I am a small part and to relax into a feeling of being understood and cared for. Not just on a concrete personal level by friends who love me, but on a more mystical plane where I was able to relish all the rich and wonderful ways in which I am a part of the natural world.

Talk about sensory overload.

interconnected webs

2009-08-27T20:00:00.001-05:00

I am amused by the contrasting scopes of science vs cultural myths and beliefs discussed here by Wade Davis

peeling

2009-08-22T19:55:00.001-05:00

afterthought: at least I'm having fun peeling the sun-burn!

mishaps, perhaps

2009-08-22T14:28:00.010-05:00

Challenges often present themselves to us in a sort of dragged out sequence that is as surreal as a nightmare. That has been the story of my running life for the last three months or more.

Running is challenging in itself. Any number of factors make it hard sometimes to remember the energizing and enjoyable aspects of running that make it so worthwhile!

So my personal litany of woes started about two weeks after the Mississauga Marathon in May. I developed sharp pain and swelling in my left knee. My chiropractor probably correctly suspected that it is a torn meniscus. Then began my journey through the medical system to get a definitive diagnosis and that is not yet complete!

In the meantime, I've been following a conservative path of treatment including lots of rest, ice and stretching all while trying to otherwise strengthen the knee joint and maintain my level of overall strength and endurance.

In the process, I've learned that although I love playing in the water, I don't enjoy the long solo aspect of swimming as an aerobic activity. Maybe if I could swim for longer sustained periods, I'd get into what some have told me is a great meditative opportunity. I will probably never know.

I've also learned that even though I don't always carry on a long conversation with fellow runners, I very much appreciate their companionship along the run, and even more, after. And I've learned that the best support system is my running gang who encourage my journey to find answers without discouraging me from running (unlike the supposedly "best experts" who usually believe running is probably a mental disorder and running marathons outright deranged!)

Gradually, as the swelling and pain have subsided, I've begun running shorter distances again. But I've struggled with feelings that I've lost ground, that I've gained weight, that my stamina is not what I imagine it was before all this and my ability to stay motivated is dwindling away.

Weather has been a factor. Summer's heat and mugginess is upon us, leaving me feeling lethargic anyway, much more prone to want to siesta instead of running!

Finally feeling like I might be up to a longer distance (ie 20 km or so), last Sunday, I made the decision to go out on one of my longest runs since all this started. A combination of drinking too much the day before, foolishly getting a blistering sunburn on my legs, getting up too late and so missing the coolest part of the day, meant that I ran in the muggiest weather of our whole summer feeling somewhat under the weather. I ended up walking at least half of my planned route.

Oh! I almost forgot! On that miserable Sunday run, I also got bitten by a dog. A mama beagle, to be exact. Other than this bruize, no harm done. At least I'm not foaming at the mouth any more than I usually do...

Some shorter runs this past week in the cooler hours of early morning had me feeling a little better, a bit more optimistic regarding my plans and preparations for my next marathon race.

But then, to add to this comedy of errors, on Thursday afternoon this past week, in my excitement at the plan our "gang" had made to do a trail-run along a route I had not done before, I stubbed my toe on my bed! The immediate result was great chagrin over very sharp pain in my left toe! However, being as eager as I was to head out for an exciting run in new territory, I did stuff the offending toe into my shoes and headed out for my run anyway.

It was hot and steamy. It was also a little buggy, mosquitoes displaying their usual preference for my blood as opposed to some others in my company! Footing was treacherous at times and a couple of people tripped or stumbled and took a fall. It was quite the adventure. But as a sure-fire distraction from all other aches, pains and hazards, I'd highly recommend stubbing your little toe as hard as possible before a trail-run on a summer afternoon!

Feeling our efforts deserved a sweet reward after our run, we watched musicians set up for Music in the Park, as we each enjoyed a double-scoop of Kawartha's finest ice cream at "Here's the Scoop" in Brooklin. The clouds rolled up from the west for one of the most boisterous stormy nights of our summer and as we headed home, it looked to be one of the worst storms to hit south-central Ontario all summer.

When I got home, I took off the shoes and discovered to my horror that the toe was looking a little black and the foot was somewhat swollen. Knowing that not much aggressive treatment is usually done for a broken toe, I nevertheless got curious as to whether I actually had a broken toe or not.

This involved a three-hour wait in the emergency department on Friday to be seen, have the toe x-rayed, then pulled back into alignment after the most excrutiating experience of all, that of having a local anaesthetic injected into the area.

So my next question is, how long will it take for my toe to heal?

The doctor in my local Emergency Department suggested I keep my toe buddy-taped for two weeks and strongly discouraged my running for 2 weeks at least! He also figured that it would take about 6 weeks for the toe to heal.

This, from the BWH Orthopedic Trauma Service is even less encouraging!

How do I handle that? Keeping in mind here, that I plan to run the New York City Marathon in November, this is all cutting deeply into my training plans! Obviously, I have to accept whatever happens now. My trip to New York City is booked. What I'll be doing there remains to be seen!

All I can do is laugh.

it's a man's world still

2009-08-14T20:20:00.000-05:00

why do I read these things when they only upset me??

still

2009-08-14T18:17:00.002-05:00

trying to get the miles of training in

still crazy after all these years.....

(isn't that a song?)

country in the city

2009-08-14T17:37:00.005-05:00

Last week's adventure was a kayaking "expedition" from Cherry Beach into the Toronto Islands' waterways.

view of the city sky-line from the water in the Eastern Gap

Headed toward the Toronto Islands in our two-man kayak, we round this breakwater and I'm amused by the orderly row of cormorants! Personal space seems to be quite a rigid idea among these water fowl.

Disturbed by our approach, the cormorants take flight.

The Toronto Islands are a pleasant surprise 20 minutes from the busy down-town. Easily accessible, one can get lost within their waterways and get a feeling not unlike being in the north country, only to catch a glimpse of the city again as one comes around one of the islands and looks northwards!

mute swans

storm clouds moving across the city

The edge of the storm catches us and we get a gentle lashing of warm rain before the sun comes out again.

icons & iconoclasts

2009-08-14T14:59:00.007-05:00

On the last Friday of each month, a mass ride of cyclists gathers in Toronto to take back the streets, for a while at least, from cars and trucks.

While it may be a given that there are great benefits to riding a bicycle, there are precious few places in North American cities where it is safe or even enjoyable to do so. Most drivers of cars would even go so far as to say they hate cyclists, pedestrians and runners, seeming to feel that roads belong to the automobile -- and often, that does not mean automobiles in general either, but just theirs, the one they are personally driving!

However, I think roads belong to people. I'd even go so far as to say that the car is the icon of our culture and to question the way our roads are devoted to the automobile is to be quite the iconoclast!

And at first, this Critical Mass ride was about people, people enjoying a hassle-free ride through down-town Toronto, a ride to celebrate Friday, a ride to celebrate a great summer evening, and a ride to celebrate bicycles.

An amazing experience to ride down University Avenue amongst a mass of like-minded people without the overwhelming and often threatening presence of cars!

How is this accomplished? There are no leaders. The route evolves organically. The front of the pack stops for the lights at the intersections, but to get the group through the intersection together, some more experienced riders act as a cork to hold up the cars for a little while, if the light changes before every cyclist is through. Keeping the whole group of cyclists together is a safety net for all, as individual cyclists are very vulnerable and even small groups experience more dangerous situations when forced to mix it up with the automobile.

Drivers in Toronto are notorious for parking in cycling lanes, veering into cycling lanes to turn right at intersections, not "seeing" cyclists. For cyclists, "being doored" is a nasty event one watches for whenever passing parked cars. Proper signals and lane-changes not withstanding, a cyclists had better actually look an oncoming driver in the eye and get a wave to ensure safe passage!

As a runner, I have discovered that if you are not in a large motorized vehicle, you are invisible and therefore liable to be run over. Or if you are visible, you are yelled at, cursed at, and told to get off the f------ road!

About an hour into the ride the police arrived to "organize" things. As the police directed traffic and enforced the traffic laws, the peaceful, happy mood began to evaporate. The mass became fragmented and the situation became uncomfortable again as bicycles are really no match for cars, SUV's and trucks.

The police started targeting cyclists they perceived to be the "trouble makers", ticketing them for traffic violations.

Eventually, the groups were so fragmented that it was no longer the safe, happy ride through downtown Toronto, but the usual grim battle to negotiate through traffic that either doesn't see you or that believes you have no right to be on the road.

The fun went out of it for me by then and all I wanted was to get home safely.

http://www.ibiketo.ca/calendar-date

maankorvessa

2009-08-03T08:06:00.006-05:00

My wandering mind took me to this wonderful version of an old song that my Mom used to sing to me! In my head are the visuals of many paintings of a child, wandering a treacherous path through the wilderness, her hand in the hand of a benevolent angel.

Only, I often wondered, why didn't the angel just pick the child up? Some lesson there about self-actualization, probably unintended, because the legend is that the writer of the lyrics was dead drunk when he wrote the lines, having just been thrown in the drunk-tank by the police...

Take it for whatever you want, I love this version of a childhood favorite of mine!

Below is a more traditional version.

Maan korvessa kulkevi lapsosen tie
In the wilderness of earth goes a child's way
hänt' ihana enkeli kotiihin vie
A lovely angel takes her home
niin pitkä on matka ei kotia näy
The journey is so long, she can't see home
vaan ihana enkeli vieressä käy
But the lovely angel walks by her side
vaan ihana enkeli vieressä käy
But the lovely angel walks by her side

On pimeä korpi ja kivinen tie
It is dark wilderness and the way is rocky
Ja usein se käytävä liukaskin lie
And often this corridor may be also slippery
Oi pianhan se lapsonen langeta vois
Oh, soon could this child fall
Jos ei käsi enkelin kädessä ois
If she was not hand in hand with the angel
Jos ei käsi enkelin kädessä ois
If she was not hand in hand with the angel

Ja siltikin mustia verkkoja vaan
And still only black nets
On laajalle laskenut korpehen maan
Has widely fallen into the wilderness (of the land)
Niin pianhan niinkin tarttua vois
And soon could she stick to them
Jos ei käsi enkelin kädessä ois
If she was not hand in hand with the angel
Jos ei käsi enkelin kädessä ois
If she was not hand in hand with the angel

maan korvessa kulkevi lapsosen tie
In the wilderness of earth goes a child's way
hänt' ihana enkeli kotihin vie
A lovely angel takes her home
oi laps' ethän koskaan ottaakaan vois'
Oh child, you could not ever take
sä kättäsi enkelin kädestä pois
Your hand away from the angel's hand
sä kättäsi enkelin kädestä pois
Your hand away from the angel's hand

Composed by P.J. Hannikainen Lyrics by Immi Hellén

The second version, from a charity concert, reminds me of a conversation I had on Sunday morning with my running companions. It concerned the glimpses of a larger meaning that we sometimes are privileged to see in the mysterious turns that our lives can take.

As a health care worker, I often struggle with the strange notions people pick up from talking to neighbours and friends. But it seems most often that diseases, particularly cancer, are such taboo subject still, that it's amazing that any information of any kind is disseminated at all (no pun intended!!). Especially if that information concerns anything about the regions of the body below the waist!

So I found a great sense of beauty and symmetry in the story my friend told of how her father, a very athletic guy, faced a diagnosis of bowel cancer with great courage. As a result, his thirteen siblings were inspired to get checked out themselves, and in two of his sisters, polyps were found and removed. Medicine today has observed that polyps are often precursors to cancer. My friend's father believes he was meant to get cancer because he was "chosen" to save his sisters. Not that far-fetched.

It makes me wonder how often we are placed in a situation in which we can be "angels-unaware" to somebody in our lives. If we let go of the people in our lives, withdraw our hand, refuse to go through the trials that are before us, or refuse to allow people to share in our struggles, are we missing an opportunity to be something larger than our usual limited human selves?

Are you tired of this song yet?

mono no aware

2009-08-03T06:54:00.006-05:00

My Mom often used to laugh that Finnish music is always in a minor key. That is probably an over-generalization, especially if you consider more modern Finnish music. That is my problem as an ex-pat, (a confused one at that, whose parents were wandering the world when I was born, but always spoke Finnish to each other at home and had sometimes ambiguous memories of home) cut off from what is current in the "old country", developing a nostalgic gap as wide as the ocean that separates one from the "mother country"!

However, I rarely heard my Mom sing anything but the saddest melodies! One of my fondest memories is of my Mom working away in the kitchen, singing this song or another traditional one, often wavering off key. She usually managed just a line or two as she couldn't remember all the words, so her voice would fade in and out over the sounds and clatter of pots and pans, the hissing of the pressure cooker. Soon wonderful aromas filled the house.

This version, with the particular qualities of Anna Mutanen's voice, the slow, lingering tempo, reminds me most of my Mom.

In my mind, the dark side of the Finnish nature is what I understand and recognize in my musical roots.

I couldn't help but associate the longing notes of this song today to the idea of mono no aware, a fundamental aspect of Japanese poetry, sometimes translated as the "pathos of things" or the "ah-ness" of things. It is that bitter-sweet evanescense of last night's sunset that disappears even as you look at it, the colours changing moment by moment, until light fades into darkness, like a kiss that must end.

It is also perhaps why I love gardens. If I were to compare, I'd say I liked perennial gardens vs gardens filled with bedding plants of annuals. But even that would not be precise. I just love gardens that manage to embrace the changing seasons, gardens that celebrate the ephemeral, often exuberant blossom, and have room to contemplate the shattered petals that have fallen, the dying colours of autumn, the ripening fruit on the vine, the bare branches of winter.

For it is always with a pang of sadness that I enter a beautiful garden. I long to hold on to the moment. Perhaps that is why I take so many photographs. But I know the moment will not last. The flowers fade. Seed heads form and are carried away. And even in the stillness of winter under the snow, life is renewing itself under the ground.

sleepless

2009-07-02T00:30:00.005-05:00

I gave up on sleep tonight. It's not like I've had an uninterrupted night of sleep for years now. But I don't often have this much difficulty sleeping. I go through the usual culprits: caffeine, hot flashes, nagging worries. I return to the nagging worries.

Why is it that sometimes it's easy to set the nagging worries aside and get on with whatever needs to be done? Other times it seems it's impossible to turn off the mind's fretting! It's not as if I'm very good at facing my imagined worst case scenarios, and yet some days I get so obsessed by those very worries that I become enmeshed in the tangles created my own mental demons!

I hardly think I'm unique, that my worries are darker than those of anyone else! But sometimes I think the wounded parts of ourselves are the parts we notice the most. I am reminded of a dog I had who nervously licked and bit at an itch on the right side of her rump so much that she developed a persistent fungal infection that made her itch even more!

Sometimes I think I'm just as funny as my dog! I get many opportunities in my paying job to observe the many ways people face difficult situations in their lives and you'd think I would have learned a thing or two after all these years!

And it was at work today that I think my obsessive thought-cycle was triggered. I read this quote, you see.

"Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in
the state of being alive....If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even
where confidence is wounded and trust impaired."
Erik Erikson (1902 - 1994)

Of course, I find myself paying the most attention to my wounds and fears! How difficult it is to lighten up, to let go, so the hope can arise. "Hope floats". Isn't that the title of a movie? Hah. The movie of my life...and away I go, drawn into the drama I create out of my life, making up a story, many stories, many possible endings...and fears and worries! I create a to-do list. I fret about things I didn't do, things I didn't make time to do.

Oops. I can't let go. I'm drowning! I forgot that I know how to float. Below my ego's obsessions, I am a peaceful part of an ocean of being.

more borrowed gardens

2009-06-15T06:52:00.009-05:00

Hellebores

heucheras

more heucheras

columbines

and more columbines

hostas in the background with Tradescantia in the foreground

more hostas

and more hostas

bugle weed in the foreground with hostas

ginkgo biloba

Japanese maple

mugo pine

Horse Chestnut

The Funky Nests Challenge!

2009-06-13T11:58:00.001-05:00

Enter the Funky Nests Challenge!

You find them in hanging flower baskets…an old boot…a garage shelf…or under a bridge…birds build nests in the strangest places! That’s the theme for the newest environmental challenge from our Celebrate Urban Birds project: Funky Nests in Funky Places! As you may know, Celebrate Urban Birds is a free, year-round citizen-science project from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, focused on birds in neighborhood settings.

For the Funky Nests in Funky Places challenge, we want you to take photos, do a painting, write a story, or shoot a video showing a bird’s nest built in some out-of-the-way or out-of-this-world place.When observing nests please be sure to avoid touching them or disturbing the birds.

This one’s going to be fun, I think. We usually receive hundreds of entries for each of our challenges, and I can’t wait to see what your sent us this time and where birds have chosen to build their funky nests! I'm also attaching a PDF flier about the challenge you can print for yourself or pass along to others who might want to participate.

We have some great prizes, includig a Leica C-LUX 3 compact camera, bird feeders, shrubs for planting, and more. The first 50 entrants will receive a copy of the "Doves and Pigeons" poster by Julie Zickefoose and we'll post selected images and videos on the Celebrate Urban Birds website.

Here's how to enter:

1. Email your entry to urbanbirds@cornell.edu. Links are acceptable for videos.

2. Write “Funky Nests” in the subject line.

3. Include your name and mailing address.

4. Explain why you submitted your entry--what's the story behind it?

5. One entry per person, please.

Deadline for entries is July 31, 2009

Visit the Celebrate Urban Birds website for more information and to read the terms of agreement regarding all entries.

Thanks for taking the challenge!

Karen Purcell, Project Leader

(607) 254-2455

urbanbirds@cornell.edu

The Cornell Lab of Ornithology is a membership institution dedicated to interpreting and conserving the earth’s biological diversity through research, education, and citizen science focused on birds. Visit the Lab’s web site at www.birds.cornell.edu.

borrowed

2009-06-13T10:26:00.025-05:00

The other day I wandered on over to the gardens at Parkwood Estate to borrow the garden for a while. Except for the fact that I couldn't get in there and get my hands dirty, I was able to wallow in the many shades of green, big and small, play my naming game and enjoy the colours there now, as well as the anticipation of other glories to come as the season progresses.

the white garden

alliums

irises

irises and daylilies

Oriental poppies

is it catching?

2009-06-13T09:40:00.003-05:00

I often wander into the gardens of Parkwood Estate so that I may borrow for a while a green space, wonderful trees and some flowers. And in my own obsessive way, I name the plants I see and wonder about the plants I don't know by name. It's an odd game: name, name, name, maybe, I wonder, name, name, name. Ah! Name! ... name. Very, very satisfying.

Having lunch with my Oldest and Other Favorite Daughter the other day, listening to her tell about the changes she has made in her garden recently, I realized that gardeners are an odd bunch. Of course, WE don't think we are strange at all. But I've had to face facts! Most people are probably -- and incomprehensibly in my mind -- only interested in having things look relatively neat, attractive and maybe even a bit colourful in the garden. O & OFD said that is the case for her. In her busy life, she only has room for pots of flowers and herbs near her kitchen door. She doesn't have time for the stuff gardeners willingly spend hours doing.

She thought it was hilarious that I understood exactly what Kim meant by the lovely horizontal branching habit of a double-file viburnum! (non-gardeners are rolling their eyes here if they have managed to read this far!!)

But, non-gardeners beware. It is contagious. As I am taking over the lawn in front of my apartment building bit by bit, other tenants are getting more and more interested. Other tenants have expanded upon the beds and more colourful bits of this and that are going in. I suspect even as the squirrels wreak mayhem and murder upon our tender plants, hopefully and bravely, we guerilla-gardeners are occupying more space. Tomatoes, herbs, roses, hostas and marigolds have snuck in somehow!

Even across the street, a large concrete bowl has appeared by the front step and it is filled with bright red geraniums. A rustic wooden bench has been placed out front and on it are a couple of clay pots filled with I'm not sure what, but it is GREEN! A building down the road has daylilies and hostas now in the shade under the maples and a colourful array of perennials in the narrow space at the edge of the parking lot behind the building!

Even what I presume are non-gardeners are paying attention to what is going on in the neighborhood. Other tenants in the building and passersby have given me compliments. Oh, and of course, there have been expressions of alarm as well. "The beds are too big." "The flowers will attract vandals." "The pots will be smashed or stolen."

The only alarm that I pay any attention to is over the squirrels. They are my personal fly in the ointment and I fear I'll soon be in danger of going over the edge with regard to their mindless depredations! (hysterical laughter!)

A taxi driver suggested the other day that I get a dog.

"But what about the digging and damage a dog might do?" I asked.

"I gave you a solution to your first problem!"

Queen Elizabeth Park

2009-05-26T13:04:00.022-05:00

On my last trip to Vancouver, mid-May, I visited Queen Elizabeth Park and the Bloedel Conservatory. Here are some highlights:

ferns looking like strange creatures of the deeps

rhodos

This colour combination caught my eye...

Hellebores

Handkerchief tree, Davidia involucrata.

the last two photos are not from the Park, but from the neighborhood where my parents live:

mountains

2009-05-13T12:09:00.014-05:00

In Kelowna, BC, this week, I am visiting my Other Favorite Daughter Who Lives Too Far Away. One of her roommates took us up to Knox Mountain, where I had the opportunity to get my first real good look of the Okanagan Valley.

This immediately caught my eye, as aromatic plants have always fascinated me. It must be in the wormwood family. It seems to grow to quite some size especially along the lower reaches of the mountain.

From the plane as we came in to Kelowna's airport, I saw masses and masses of these bright yellow daisy-like flowers on the mountain sides. The lady beside me laughed and laughed when I commented on them, wondering what they were. We were touching down and the lawns around the airport were full of dandelions in full bloom, you see. She thought I was marveling at mundane dandelions, which of course, we also have in the GTA in abundance! However, I had a lingering thought that what I had spotted from the plane was different....
Near my daugthter's home in Kelowna is a small wetlands area, where wildlife is attracted by the water. On sunny days, my daughter is horrified to find that she is like her mother, amused and delighted to observe turtles competing with each other for a spot on this log on which they gather to absorb the sun's warmth. Today, it was cold, overcast, and there was a bitterly cold wind.
Gardens in some parts of town, particularly the historic Abbott St., along the lake, are lush and interesting.

things seen

2009-05-04T08:56:00.012-05:00

Recent adventures along a river that meanders through the centre of my city brought opportunities to look.

Look at that logjam!

Look at the fungi. The subtle repetition of pattern, texture and colour pleases me.

Look at the pretty dogtooth violets, aka trout lilies (Erythronium americanum).

Look at the burned grass...oooh! What's that??

Look at all the dead snails! How curious!

Then earlier, at Easter, I visited my friend M., and she has this pretty cat whom I know you'll all enjoy meeting.

more listening

2009-04-16T18:29:00.000-05:00

Yene Konjo - Aster Aweke

listening

2009-04-16T18:23:00.000-05:00

Sew Hulu Be-Hageru - Aster Aweke

food

2009-04-16T14:35:00.004-05:00

Food. What a word! Layers and layers of meaning and memory wrap themselves up in that simple four-letter word.

Something prompted me to start making a big pot of lentil stew this afternoon. I started very simply, throwing a couple cupfuls of dry lentils into some water in a large pot, and setting the pot on the stovetop to simmer gently. After a while, other chores distracted me and I forgot about the lentils until a wonderful warm aroma reminded me.

The aroma reminded me of many things. Coming in from a long bicycle ride, hands stiff with cold, the kitchen steamy and smelling of lovely, nourishing things cooking. The quick flip of the edge of a large, flat, grassy woven basket held in graceful brown hands sending curling waves of grain into the sunshine, a breath of dust and chaff falling away from the crest of the wave of grain as it settles down again, swirling, back onto the basket. The background chatter of women's voices, women who are my life, whom I love, my mother, my aunts, talking and laughing, as they slap dough down, then the quick thud thud thud of their rolling pins shaping the dough into the little round skins of karjalan piirakka. The hot yeasty smell of freshly baked bread as it comes out of the oven.

And I thought, I will add some carrots, celery, bay leaf, and onions to my lentils, then I will see if I have the "fixins" to make bread.

Ah! Fresh, home-baked bread. That is an experience I haven't treated myself to for far too long.

Why? Why am I too busy to slow down and do this simple, nourishing thing for myself?

I've used the excuse that I'm too busy. I've used the excuse that I would then just over-indulge and over-eat what I've made. I've used the excuse that there is no one with whom to share what I've cooked. I've used the excuse that there isn't room in the tiny freezer compartment of my apartment-sized fridge to hold the excess.

However, when I smelled my lentil stew cooking on the stove, I realized that I should have given myself this gift long ago. I deserve, no I need and have longed for the hands-on, sensual experience of slow food, the multi-sensory meditation of making a simple meal for myself, with my own hands, using basic ingredients.

I am busy. As well as working full-time at my paying job, I try to fit in a yoga practice and all the miles of running required in my training for my first upcoming full marathon race. I try to have a balanced social life as well, to stay connected to my family and friends. Over the last few weeks I felt like I was spinning my wheels faster and faster, becoming more and more disconnected even as I struggled to stay grounded.

I pass by our little garden in front of my building, chafing at the lack of time to tidy up the squirrel-tossed plants, to water, to mulch the dry soil there.

I'm sure you have felt that way too. Suddenly the bottom seems to fall out and you find yourself looking at yourself in the mirror and crying for no reason. Nothing seems solid. Your family and friends are there, but you are incapable of feeling their care and presence. I suddenly realized I was starving.

I woke up from a dream this morning of a small garden in the sunshine, filled with the smell of sunshine on springtime lawns waking up, of crocus, early irises, daffodils and jonquils. I could smell the earth. I could smell the softness of springtime air. And in my dream, I felt in my body the satisfaction of seeing the green things coming up and of having worked in the garden as I entered the kitchen of a small house I once lived in, and again another familiar smell, the smell of sun-heated dust motes dancing in front of a window.

I've been starving for the sensory hands-on experiences of gardens and food. In my mind, they are entwined inseparably. Small cuttings sit in a jar atop my fridge, after all, hopeful twigs that in my mind are a large winged burning bush (Euonymus alata), a pyramidal English oak (Quercus robur), and purple-leaved smoke bush (Cotinus coggygria).

I added some heat to my stew with a generous spoonful of berbere and tomato paste. It is going to be soooo tasty and warming. All I lack is some injera. However, I don't have any tef on hand, nor do I actually know how to make injera, so instead, I'm going to leave you now to bake myself a loaf of multigrain bread.

You must envy me. I'll soon be enjoying a slice of fresh bread with butter with a large bowl of hot and spicy lentil stew sprinkled with some chopped fresh cilantro.

Great Backyard Bird Count Highlights

2009-04-13T23:16:00.002-05:00

Dynamic Changes in Where the Birds Are
Bird watchers break record for fifth straight year

New York, NY & Ithaca, NY—The 12th annual Great Backyard Bird Count (GBBC) featured two invasions this year: voracious Pine Siskins (pictured right) and a whole new crop of citizen-science participants! Bird watchers shattered last year's record by submitting more than 93,600 checklists during the four-day event, held February 16-19. Participants also identified 619 species and sent in thousands of stunning bird images for the GBBC photo contest. The Great Backyard Bird Count is led by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology and the National Audubon Society.

"Each year the GBBC provides the most detailed real-time snapshot of bird distribution across North America," said Rob Fergus, Senior Scientist with the National Audubon Society. "We can see how birds are responding to changing weather patterns, available food sources, and other factors from around the continent."

One of the big stories coming from the GBBC this year was the massive invasion of Pine Siskins and White-Winged Crossbills over much of the eastern United States. These feisty little birds moved southward because of seed crop failures in their usual wintering grounds in Canada and the boreal forests. GBBC participants reported 279,469 Pine Siskins on 18,528 checklists, compared to the previous high of 38,977 birds on 4,069 checklists in 2005. White-winged Crossbills were not as common, but their invasion was still impressive with 4,824 birds on 589 checklists representing a new record over the previous high of 2,854 birds on 135 checklists in 2007.

The GBBC continues to show declines in some common birds, especially grassland and shrubland species. Loggerhead Shrike numbers are down, and although numbers of Northern Bobwhites and Eastern Meadowlarks were both up slightly from last year, they are still being reported in fewer numbers during the GBBC than they were in 2004. These GBBC trends are only preliminary views of what may be going on with these populations, and they must continue to be monitored to get a true long-term view of how these birds are faring.

Species reported for the first time during the Great Backyard Bird Count included two oceanic species--Pink-footed Shearwater and Xantus's Murrelet, both in California. Other first-timers included Baird's Sandpiper, Black-billed Cuckoo, and Blackpoll Warbler. Two rare Mexican species appeared on GBBC checklists from Arizona for the first time: the first Sinaloa Wren ever found north of the border, and a Blue Mockingbird.

"I just love the way this event opens up a new world for so many people," says Cornell Lab of Ornithology Citizen Science Director Janis Dickinson. "We have grandparents counting with their grandchildren, elementary school classrooms doing the GBBC as a special project, nature centers taking visitors out on bird walks. And adults who never noticed birds before are suddenly smitten!"

For a more detailed summary of this year's results, visit the GBBC web site at http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc/. Explore 2009 data, compare with other years, and find the exact counts for each species in a particular state, province, or town.The Great Backyard Bird Count is sponsored by Wild Birds Unlimited.

The next Great Backyard Bird Count is February 15-18, 2010!

#Top 10 most-frequently reported birds in the 2009 GBBC:
1) Northern Cardinal
2) Mourning Dove
3) Dark-eyed Junco
4) American Goldfinch
5) Downy Woodpecker
6) Blue Jay
7) House Finch
8) Tufted Titmouse
9) American Crow
10) Black-capped Chickadee

Visit the "Explore the Results" pages on the GBBC web site to find the list of Top 10 birds reported in your state, province, or city.

fooled

2009-04-07T13:31:00.005-05:00

...yesterday

...today!

The Weather is toying with me. Cruelly! That's what I get for exulting yesterday morning that we had not received the forecast snow! The Weather turned around and back-handed me one!

April weather

2009-04-06T15:23:00.011-05:00

I woke very grateful this morning that the forecast was wrong. We were supposed to get snow. I thought, yes! It's raining here! But it was not to last. After four o'clock or so, the big wet snowflakes started to fall, and a nasty wind is howling around the corners of my building.

Amazing that some of the tiniest and most beautiful flowers in the garden (perhaps most beautiful because they are longed for after our winters), are hardly worried about a little snow.

My little neighbour, K., got these violets from her grandmother and planted them in the garden last summer.

A week ago, our weather was much more spring-like, the messy dregs of winter, the debris left by the squirrels' assaults on our gardens, all seeming manageable in bright, sunny and much warmer weather.

So, out into the garden I went, attracting the attention of many small kids in the neighborhood who first, wanted to know what I was doing, then, if they could help.

After the very satisfying afternoon I spent tidying up the garden, I participated in a belly-dance recital in the evening that was even more enjoyable because it was shared with my friend C., and supported by my crazy, lovable running gang.

Mistrusting the intentions of my running friends, I confess I feared their attendance would mean suffering through the hootin' and hollerin' of some of the more jock-like/tomboy members, but instead was tickled that they were most encouraging and even brought C. and me these gorgeous bouquets of roses!

The roses lasted and lasted, but a couple of days ago, I did take them out of water and hang them up to dry. They seem to be retaining their colour nicely, don't you think? I know I'll be able to enjoy them for quite a while longer. Eventually of course, the colour will gradually fade to a soft tan, should I decide to keep them that long!

In place of the roses, a small bouquet of the daffodils of the annual Cancer Society fund-raising drive now brightens my living room.

The rain makes me long for colour and I've been tempted to start hunting in the garden centres and grocery stores for pots of forced spring blooms. I had thought maybe putting them into large pots by the front steps would give all of us the hit of colour I need, especially today with big fat snow flakes starting to swirl around outside (noooo! say it isn't so!). But I'm not sure that even the toughies of spring, spring bulbs forced as they have been into early bloom in hothouses, can survive the ferocities and vagaries of our Canadian spring.

hint, hint

2009-04-06T14:44:00.002-05:00

I had a great laugh at this from the Dirt Divas and their now ?defunct blog. So I just had to share it with other gardeners, who I think, like me, can think of no better way to be romanced than this, whether it be for Mothers Day or any other day!

"-Darling. Take your woman out for breakfast and a long
leisurely drive, checkbook firmly tucked in your back pocket, and a little mood
music on the radio. Then hit the local nurseries that are brimming with colorful
plants and toys for your garden. Put a little romance in those flower beds.
Think of gardening as a couple’s thing that you do so the woman who runs your
weekends will let you watch the playoffs. A little champagne and showing off
your skills with a wheelbarrow will do wonders for your relationship."

balance

2009-04-06T13:00:00.004-05:00

Recently one late night when sweats woke me in the wee hours of the morning, I turned on the television and was fortunate to catch this interesting repeat of a lecture in which Jefferson Medical College professor Salman Akhtar discussed "The Trauma of Geophysical Dislocation".

In his lecture, Akhtar proposed that psychoanalysts need to pay special attention to their immigrant patients, suggesting that "the immigration experience creates disruptions to the waking screen that are too often ignored in therapy and that the objects and landscapes that are left behind have a more significant impact on the immigrant's psychological well being than has generally been recognized..."

Listening to the lecture, I realized that travel and/or immigration is the fine edge of a double edged sword. Part of the thrill is the adventure and opportunites of a new place, but that is also the challenge. I was quite used to thinking of the immigration experience as one with the difficulties of a new language (or as in my case, a language spoken in a different accent), new culture, new bureaucratic mazes to navigate, but had not really paid any heed to the way a new environment impacts one in the body, physically, through our senses.

Immediately, as Oprah would say, I had an "ah-Ha!" reaction. Memories of various experiences came to mind...

I am in a fine bookstore in Uxbridge, Blue Heron Books. Browsing in bookstores being a passion of mine that I simply cannot indulge in as often as I would actually like, I was having a wonderful time.

Among a gorgeous collection of coffee table books, I happened upon a book about the south of France. Flipping through its pages, drinking in the pictures of sun-baked old houses, narrow cobble-stone streets, clay pots of bright ivy-geraniums sitting on quirky, crooked steps, I turned to a photo of a small sunlit square and suddenly felt an overwhelming physical sensation of recognition wash over me, a delicious shiver that ran through my whole body!

I knew this place in my body-memory because of the light. Not that I had ever actually been to that particular village in the south of France. But my body recognized the way sunlight looks and feels in that part of the world and I could feel the memory of it through my whole body as it was awakened by that photo.

I am in an airplane circling Pearson Airport. I am coming home from a trip to Europe. It is a sunny day. The sky is blue. The sky is a particular shade of blue, a big shade of blue, very different from the sky the way I experience it in Europe. Big, spacious. An "aaaaah" shade of blue, an opening-up shade of blue.

It is raining. It is cold, the ground underfoot is muddy, sticky and the smell of it is wet mud mixed with the bitter-sweet tang of donkey and mule puckeys. The clouds are hanging low between the mountains of Ethiopia. The wind is lashing the rain down and I can see snow on the higher slopes that disappear into the clouds. I hear water running, gurgling everywhere. Veils of rain and cloud dance between the mountains.

Small houses huddle together in the rain, their interior gloom under their corrugated tin roofs a ragged shelter from the rain. The road is a wash of running mud. The high thin voices of children speaking Amharic or accented English rise into the thin mountain air and bring back swirling echoes from my memories. Thin vapours of breath mingle with currents of bitterly cold air and mist. My hands are freezing.

It is raining. The air is soft, wet, heavy and smells of green things. There's a white-ness too to the smell, like the metallic taste of snow. The clouds feel heavy, pressing against the mountains, and the mountains seem to press back. I feel small in Vancouver, pushed down by the rain, pushed down by the dark shadows of trees, the dark heavy hedges, the heavy rain, as if my feet will stick to the dark wet pavements, the spongy paths in the forests. Heavy green vines clamber up trees, pulling them downwards.

When the plane turns out over the ocean, eastward, taking me away from Vancouver, it feels like it takes a huge effort to lift ourselves out and above the arms of the mountains. Row after row of white-capped mountains reach even above the thick blanket of clouds into the blueness of the sky, reaching, reaching.

I wonder about all the fine mechanisms in our bodies that help to keep us in balance.

Closing our eyes, we still have a body-memory of the room we are sitting in, the spaces outside, the neighbor's house, the cars travelling by in the city streets, the train whistle in the dark, the returning birds announcing the arrival of spring in the lightening of dawn. Later there will be the smells of cut grass, the sound of lawnmowers, the smells of summer-time barbecues wafting on the mellow evening breezes.

How disconcerting it is to half-wake from a dream where we were in another place, in another room! It takes several moments for our bodies to find our balance again, to turn around, wobble back into alignment, aright ourselves right-side up when we drop into this place from wherever we were in our dreams.

I think gardeners remember rain in gardens most of all. An old song I heard long ago sung by Perry Como comes to mind. Just thinking about the song, I can smell roses, feel springtime rain on my eyelashes and see fat robins listening for worms in the soil! Somebody else, from another part of the world will surely have very different memories, won't they, if in fact, the song is able to speak to them at all.

No wonder being an immigrant is so unsettling!

nest boxes

2009-03-30T11:35:00.004-05:00

From The Cornell Lab of Ornithology:

Got Nest Boxes? If you do, you have a front-row seat on the miracle of birth and renewal in the bird world. If you don't, now is the time to set one up. You can also help scientists learn more about bird families and how they might be affected by climate change.

You're invited to register your nest box (or boxes) with the Cornell Lab of Ornithology's NestWatch program (www.RegisterYourNestbox.org). It won't cost you a thing but it does yield valuable information about breeding birds and how their natural rhythms may be changing.

NestWatch is easy and fun for adults and children. It helps all of us reconnect with nature, which is good for our health and well-being. NestWatch is a great activity to do on your own, in a classroom, or as a homeschool project.

Here's why it's so important to gather this information: Studies are showing that some birds are laying their eggs sooner than they used to--as much as nine days earlier in the case of Tree Swallows. That could spell trouble if the eggs hatch before a steady supply of insects is available for feeding the young. As a NestWatch participant, you'll visit nests once or twice a week and report what you see: Which kinds of birds are using your nest boxes? When were the first eggs laid? How many eggs were laid and how many actually hatched?

Everything you need to register your nest box and get started with NestWatch is available online, including directions on how you can monitor nest boxes without disturbing the birds. If you have a blog, you can link to the NestWatch site using the web button we provide below.

Don't have a nest box yet? Find out how to provide the best and safest boxes for bluebirds, swallows, chickadees, and other cavity-nesting birds online. If you like, you can also monitor the nests of backyard birds that don't use nest boxes, such as phoebes, robins, and goldfinches.

By the way, the hugely popular NestCams are back in action—peek into nests and nest boxes across the country via live cameras focused on Eastern Bluebirds, Barred Owls, Wood Ducks, Barn Owls and more. Keep watching and see what hatches!

The more NestWatchers we have the better the information we can gather about our bird friends. Feel free to download this NestWatch flyer(PDF) and post it anywhere you feel is appropriate. As a citizen scientist you have the power to really make a big difference.

Thank you!Tina Phillips, Project Leader

NestWatch

P.S. Check out the "Early Birds and Spring" video about the NestWatch project now posted on the ScienCentral web site! And here's that web button:

To download the button, right-click on the image and choose "send to browser." Then right-click on the image again and choose "save image as" to save it to your computer. The button should be linked to: www.RegisterYourNestbox.org

NestWatch is a free nest-monitoring project developed by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology in collaboration with the Smithsonian Migratory Bird Center, and funded by the National Science Foundation.

The Cornell Lab of Ornithology is a membership institution interpreting and conserving the earth's biological diversity through research, education, and citizen science focused on birds.

dreams

2009-03-26T17:52:00.001-05:00

waiting

2009-03-26T17:02:00.002-05:00

Waiting is hard work. It may seem like you're just sitting there. It may seem like a great opportunity to catch your breath, pause, take stock, re-organize, re-group, prepare for whatever is coming. But that's just it. You are waiting. You don't really know what's coming.

theories

2009-03-23T08:31:00.004-05:00

As far as theories go, I've been pondering this one for quite some time. And I don't mean to bring it up to add fuel to the fire of the difficulties between the sexes. But I was wondering about it again this weekend.

I work in health care and many nurses would agree with me when I say that there is a marked difference in the way male patients behave when compared to female patients. It's not a generalization that can be used to neatly compartmentalize every individual, but it's a pattern that is pronounced enough that nurses will usually prefer a ward of men over a ward of women.

Now, of course, that used to bother me, being of the female persuasion myself. But I wondered why? Why did women second guess you all the time, interrupt you when you were caring for another patient, anxiously stop you in the last second before you left the room to ask for something and one-trip-run-you a hundred times in a day? Why did men, in contrast, seem so calm and accepting of whatever way you delivered their care?

It was my genius friend Fiona who finally clarified it for me. She said men are used to being looked after, women are not. That is simply it.

Women are usually the care takers in whatever situation they find themselves in and they have to remember a whole constellation of things and people that need looking after, so of course they are anxious when they themselves need care and help. They are not sure they will be looked after, having rarely been in that position before. Not only are they anxious when they find themselves needing to be cared for by another, but they are often quite angry!

I notice this as well among other professionals in my workplace, among my colleagues and peers. It is far more likely that it will be a male who will delegate or ask me to do things, even if it might not actually be within my scope of practice or is a task that he is supposed to do himself. Or at worst, he will just leave things undone, knowing full well that somebody else (usually female) will clean up, tie up loose ends, or remind him to do something he must do before the shit hits the fan.

I can see women all over the world nodding their heads. Right, ladies? This happens at home too. The phrase "it's so hard to get good help" falls from the lips of ladies, right?

Meanwhile, my lovely calm male patients. How I look forward to caring for them! Amazing how universal is the sense of entitlement, and the security that that expectation gives to the half of our population that enjoys that power, still. They generally will happily toddle off and do as they're told, knowing that their nurse or doctor or physiotherapist has their best interest at heart. Good little soldiers, they get out of bed, and manfully do their laps around the hall.

They might become quite a bit more dependent and whiny when their anxious wives arrive. It would do no good to reassure the wife that all is well, after all! Sometimes, the poor men have no idea what medications they are on, what surgeries or medical treatments or tests they have had in the past. "Ask the wife", they'll say. Or when faced with a challenge, like learning how to manage an ostomy at home, they will helplessly declare: "I can't do it. Wait 'till the wife comes and show her!" They won't wash or get dressed; they can't eat, their hands suddenly useless. They wait for the wife to help them.

It's amazing! I hardly ever hear a wife say "Wait 'till my husband comes in, he'll do it." In extreme situations she may say, " I can't do it," but by then, she will be in that mental and emotional state that she is unable to do anything for herself at all, and is either profoundly depressed or feels like she is alone and terrified out of her wits!

A man recently said to me that the trouble between men and women boils down to women expecting that men should be able to read their minds. Then as the mistakes men make add up, women keep score and after some indeterminate time, women explode. The poor guy is quite surprised because he was unaware of his mistakes, even if he was vaguely aware there was a score card.

It occurred to me that when I do know what I want from a man, I don't know how to ask for it. The other way of looking at that would be that there is no right way to ask in a social structure in which you are pretty much expected to take care of things and be the do-er and care-taker. It also occurred to me that while I need practice in asking for what I want, I have been shot down about a million times just for asking. The onus is not 100% on me to ask in the "right way".

The other part of that issue is that I realize that I don't know how to express what I want. Do I want a mere glass of water, or is it that I actually want someone to be attentive to my needs and to be cared for? If I ask for a glass of water, I won't get what I actually want. But if I ask for attention and to be cared for, well.... You can see how difficult that is!

No wonder women are anxious and angry!

Please, don't get me wrong. I could give you hundreds of examples where this does not hold, but the trend sure is there. And I wondered why....

moleskin

2009-03-22T13:02:00.002-05:00

A playful idea executed in a Japanese format Moleskin, created by Juan Berrio.

pause

2009-03-22T10:30:00.003-05:00

A surprise pause in my schedule today, an unexpected change in plans, has me looking with delight towards an afternoon and evening of free time! It seems like I have been snatching a nap, an hour of canoodling, an evening to read a book, out of the miserly hands of some relentless schedule madman for months now. And that madman -- ahem, woman -- was me!

The first sensation is relief. The second, anxiety because I don't have a new book to dive into. However, I looked out the window and the day is sunny, the breezes mild, and I realized, this is an occasion. Maybe not an occasion to celebrate -- too noisy. But an occasion to notice, observe, contemplate and regenerate.

I'll be back in about....10 hours, okay?

stories

2009-02-16T13:55:00.006-05:00

Mount Ras Dashen, Ethiopia, March 2007

Okay, this is a pretty public place to talk about this, but I like to work under the illusion that the people who want to read my blog are truly interested in who I am as a person, and that our human experiences shared, connect us to the whole in some mystical way.

Like many families, I suspect, mine is troubled. I won't go into all that. I've done that enough already. I don't want to tell a big old dramatic story or to blow my own horn here. However, I do want to share with you the happy place in which I find myself, the realization I had today regarding how far I've come.

It occurred today when somebody told me my ex-husband got married last year to the woman he's been living with ever since he and I split up. The person who told me, loves me and knows me well enough to understand some of the journey that I've been on all these years. And she knows me well enough to understand that I don't need to be "protected" from the truth.

Now, in this snapshot moment of where I am, you understand, I have no idea at all of the kind of person my ex husband has become. I only know what I was back then and I am happy with who I am now. The idea of any nostalgia for the past or what I was is so limiting that even holding a thought of it in my mind for the most brief moment imaginable, has me feeling stiffled and constrained. The idea that now, I would be upset or hurt by hearing my ex husband has married again merely has me smiling, amused. Those that kept that knowledge from me severely underestimate who I am, what I have gone through and the strength I now possess. And I realize they may be telling themselves a story of what happened that is totally different from what I think my story is.

To me that is amusing. Oh, to be sure, I'm still very idealistic and naive, ever hopeful about the people I meet, willing to see a best in them that even they themselves have given up on long ago. Ah well. Many people even think that I was too blind for my own good then and suggest that I should have sought revenge more effectively. I decided long ago however that that would be energy wasted and focused in the wrong place. And after all these years, I think even though unaware as I was, I am glad I made the decision to stop resisting what was happening and let it all go.

And best of all, I realize that all the things that troubled me, the struggles that have come and gone, most of them were and continue to be of my own making, as my mind and ego try to control, organize life to keep me safe and resist or avoid things that are unpleasant. I realize, that what is essentially me is not troubled by the sad and unhappy things that have happened to me or might yet happen to me. Just like the blue sky is not altered by the storms that pass through, what I am, essentially what is me, is not all those things, the story of what has happened to me. I am like the blue sky and gratefully, joyfully, I realize how wonderfully free I am!

Now, I feel like all of life is open to me, a great adventure and I have so many adventures to choose from, so much living to do!

promises

2009-02-06T16:37:00.004-05:00

Isn't it odd how trees form their buds in the fall after the leaves have fallen and the buds stay on the trees right through the bitterest winter months before they open in the spring?

They don't look like much, and many people don't even notice they're there until spring arrives. Then, perhaps because they are expecting to see signs of spring, they happen to look up and voilà, suddenly, it's spring! And as evidence, people point to the buds on the trees! They don't seem to realize, that on many trees such as my maple here, the buds have been there since the autumn!

What does all this mean? I think it's rather lovely that when things seem to have died and the darkness of winter descends upon us, already the promise of spring is there. It's on every branch, the promise in myriads of tiny buds, just waiting for the light to change, the warmth to return and those tiny buds will swell out into flowers and leaves!

Sometimes when I seem to be in a terribly grim season, my mood dark and feeling like the world is an awfully cold place, looking out my window to see those wee small buds, all over the branches of my maple, I remember to hold on. My spirit may be cramped into some tiny space inside me, but I know if I wait, the light will change, the earth will warm up and soon, I'll feel the creative juices arise and I will be able to grow and open out.

guess who's here

2009-01-24T11:32:00.004-05:00

This has probably made the rounds of cyberspace among those who are suckers for cute animal pictures! But I am totally unapologetic about that! This appeals to me on so many levels, I just had to share it with you. Come on. Doesn't it make you smile?

Apparently, this fawn followed the beagle home, right into the house through the doggie door, in the Bittinger, MD, area recently. The owner came home to find the fawn had made himself quite at home. There was news coverage of the event, so how come I'm just now finding out about it??

Aaany-way...I love it 'cause the beagle reminds me of my friend Misty, who remained behind in the country when I moved back into the city. She would never have been happy on a leash, without acres of woods and fields to explore, but I miss her.

birds in art/art in birds

2009-01-20T10:56:00.002-05:00

Birds in Art/Art in Birds Challenge

Ithaca, NY--People of all ages are invited to go outside and look for Birds in Art/Art in Birds for a contest sponsored by the Celebrate Urban Birds project at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. Celebrate Urban Birds is a free, year-round citizen-science project focused on birds in neighborhood settings.

For the Birds in Art/Art in Birds challenge you can take photos, do some painting, write a story, create a sculpture. What do you see in a bird that is beautiful, stirring, or inspirational? It could be a broken-down nest in winter, a song recording, video of a bird perching on your window, something that makes you stop, look twice, laugh, cry.

Prizes include bird sound recordings, books, gift certificates, "green" products, and more. We’ll send the first 50 entrants a copy of our "Doves and Pigeons" poster by Julie Zickefoose. Selected images will be posted on the Celebrate Urban Birds website.

How to enter:
1. Email your photo, art, or video entry to urbanbirds@cornell.edu. Links are acceptable for videos.
2. Write "Art in Birds/Birds in Art contest" in the subject line.
3. Include your name and mailing address
4. Tell us why you submitted your entry to the Art in Birds/Birds in Art contest.
Deadline for entries is February 28, 2009

Visit the Celebrate Urban Birds web site for more information.

Contact: Karen Purcell, Project Leader, (607) 254-2455, urbanbirds@cornell.edu

The Cornell Lab of Ornithology is a membership institution dedicated to interpreting and conserving the earth’s biological diversity through research, education, and citizen science focused on birds. Visit the Lab’s web site at www.birds.cornell.edu.
Cornell Lab of Ornithology159 Sapsucker Woods Rd, Ithaca NY 14850

escapism #4

2009-01-17T18:03:00.002-05:00

From Addis Ababa, Awasa, and Lake Langano, Ethiopia, November, 2008.

escapism #3

2009-01-17T17:57:00.001-05:00

From the Sheraton Hotel, Addis Ababa, November, 2008.

escapism #2

2009-01-17T17:47:00.002-05:00

From the Ghion Hotel, Addis Ababa, November 2008.

escapism #1

2009-01-17T15:13:00.068-05:00

My friends' garden on the outskirts of Addis, from my trip in Nov., 2008.

endod

eating

2009-01-15T11:13:00.008-05:00

Recently, my brain was flooded with the remembered smell and taste of cedar. I was enjoying the latent promise in the myriads of tiny red buds on the maple trees outside my office window and my gaze was drawn further, beyond the townhouses behind my building to the fat cones hanging from the drooping branches of a large Norwegian Spruce beyond, and then to the top of a cedar, just visible above the rooftops. It was with the glimpse of the cedar that the floodgates of memory opened.

I remembered the secret spaces inside large cedar trees of my childhood, the dry spongy forest floor under the cedars and the bitter taste of cedar on my tongue.

When I was 9, 10, 11 years old, we were in the habit of making long Saturday afternoon walks with my parents in the woods and fallow fields near our home. And it was on those walks that my father introduced me to the habit of munching as we walked. Well, not munching, exactly. More like nibbling and tasting to satisfy our curiosity.

Unlike some parents who pretend like they don't know what an old, dirty, much-handled penny tastes like, I believe every child needs to eat quite a healthy amount of dirt pretty regularly to stay healthy. Every gardener certainly knows the lovely aroma of truly rich garden soil!

Now, I don't think my father deliberately had a theory on learning or health that motivated him to encourage us to munch and nibble. Or maybe he did. In any case, he was my first source of knowledge about the natural world and through play and exploration he guided us to avoid poisonous plants while encouraging us to munch our way through cedar trees, pine needles, birch twigs, timothy, clover, willow, sheep sorrel, and so on.

Now, in case you think this was indiscriminate munching, you'd be wrong. There's an art to finding the tastiest bits of edible plants in the wild. And, it is important to note that knowledge of exactly what parts of a plant are edible, is also important. With caution and a healthy dose of common sense, it is quite possible to find wonderful meals just by wild-crafting.

Anyhow, here's a partial list of edible wild plants , that can be found in the yard or in the woods. This site also has photos and recipe ideas.

Great Backyard Bird Count

2009-01-14T11:31:00.000-05:00

JOIN THE GREAT BACKYARD BIRD COUNT
Count for Fun, Count for the Future
February 13-16, 2009

New York, NY and Ithaca, NY-Bird and nature fans throughout North America are invited to join tens of thousands of bird watchers for the 12th annual Great Backyard Bird Count (GBBC), February 13-16, 2009.

A joint project of the Cornell Lab of Ornithology and the National Audubon Society, this free event is an opportunity for families, students, and people of all ages to discover the wonders of nature in backyards, schoolyards, and local parks, and, at the same time, make an important contribution to conservation.

“Anyone who can identify even a few species can contribute to the body of knowledge that is used to inform conservation efforts to protect birds and biodiversity,” said Audubon Education Vice-President, Judy Braus.

Volunteers take part by counting birds for at least 15 minutes on one or more days of the event and reporting their sightings online at www.birdcount.org. The data help researchers understand bird population trends across the continent, information that is critical for effective conservation. In 2008, participants submitted more than 85,000 checklists, a new record.

“The GBBC has become a vital link in the arsenal of continent wide bird-monitoring projects,” said Cornell Lab of Ornithology director John Fitzpatrick. “With more than a decade of data now in hand, the GBBC has documented striking changes in late-winter bird distributions.”

Participants submit thousands of digital images for the GBBC photo contest each year. Last year’s winners have been chosen and are now posted on the web site. Participants are also invited to upload their bird videos to YouTube tagged “GBBC.” Some of them will also be featured on the GBBC web site. All participants will be entered in a drawing to win dozens of birding items, including stuffed birds, clocks, books, feeders, and more.

Businesses, schools, nature clubs, Scout troops, and other community organizations interested in the GBBC can contact the Cornell Lab of Ornithology at (800) 843-2473 (outside the U.S., call (607) 254-2473), or Audubon at citizenscience@audubon.org or (215) 355-9588, Ext 16.

The Great Backyard Bird Count is made possible, in part, by support from Wild Birds Unlimited.

###

News media: Please go the www.birdcount.org News Room for high-resolution images, sounds, top- 10 lists, FAQs, and results of the 2008 count. To interview a participant in your area, please get in touch with one of our media contacts listed at the top of this release. Some B-roll is available for broadcast use. Please contact Tammy Bishop at (607) 254-1298 to discuss format needs.

The Cornell Lab of Ornithology is a nonprofit membership institution interpreting and conserving the earth’s biological diversity through research, education, and citizen science focused on birds. www.birds.cornell.edu

Audubon is dedicated to protecting birds and other wildlife and the habitat that supports them. Our national network of community-based nature centers and chapters, scientific and educational programs, and advocacy on behalf of areas sustaining important bird populations, engage millions of people of all ages and backgrounds in conservation. www.audubon.org

on phobia

2009-01-05T19:12:00.008-05:00

A recent conversation and its aftermath have had me pondering on things and trying to figure out why I was disturbed.

First, a dear friend expressed her honest belief that the Bible condemns homosexuality as a sin. The reaction in that particular social setting was for a horrified hush to fall upon the gathering as they waited for my friend to stammer out her understanding of what the Bible says. Most everybody else didn't express their opinion while I looked at my friend and said we have discussed this before and we don't agree... Meanwhile, I had the sense that everybody else was just in an agony to change the subject.

Then, second, I was later informed that some people felt it a shame that in our "politically correct" society, it is no longer okay for a person to be "homophobic" or to express "homophobic" ideas.

That didn't sit well with me either and I have been trying to figure out why. Well, I thunk and thunk and thunk, and I must say, I'm still unhappy about it all.

To be perfectly clear, I grew up in a fundamentalist Protestant household, so I know intimately how the Bible is used in the Christian world to justify a particular worldview. I have personal experience of what Blaise Paschal describes as the way "men [sic] never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." And it is also unfortunate that in my opinion, having read a lot of recent stuff published by the church I grew up in, not much has changed and I fear there is a lot of truth in the words of Alfred North Whitehead when he says that "The religion which stays in place is the last refuge of human savagery." But that is a sad and disgusting story for another day -- or perhaps never.

However, I digress.

First, as vague and idealistic as I must sound, I do believe there is Something larger than ourselves. That is not based in anything measurable or verifiable. It's just my instinct.

Second, I question the Bible or the Quran or any other Holy Writings as the sum and total of Truth for our time. I can be very comfortable with any of them as being Inspired writings as valid as many writers today who are inspired and inspiring spiritual guides. However, knowing the history of how these writings were collected, edited and cobbled together, one must admit a lot of human frailty has contaminated the Word of God. Also, to me it is sacriligious to limit God to human words which slide all over the place, changing meaning radically from one generation to the next and meaning something altogether different depending on the perceptions of the hearer/reader. God is greater than that, surely!

So, with that in mind, I think it's wrong to club people over the head with hateful beliefs that cruelly place people outside the inner circle of acceptance over a label that may or may not have even existed in the times the Bible, the Quran and other Holy Writings were penned, a label that may have been mis-translated, and a label that only recently has come to mean what it does in our time. (I challenge the fundamentalist Christian or Muslim or whatever to carefully read the history and the social context of those ancient times and the discussions on how the translations have been made and/or how the language has changed over the ages.) And I think it says ugly things to see religion dragging its heels behind --far behind-- the progress of science and culture in becoming more humane and kind.

The other side of that coin is those people who are afraid to speak their minds for fear of not being politically correct.

I think it basically boiled down to what I believe ails most of us in trying to live our lives. We usually act from a set of beliefs we hold without thinking too much about where or how we got those beliefs, or even if they are actually true. In the words of Ernest Holmes, “Practically the whole human race is hypnotized because it thinks what somebody else told it to think.”

Parents can take some comfort during those painful rebellious years of adolescence in the fact that most children continue to believe exactly in those very values they seem to be rebelling against, and when the dust settles, those rebels have in fact become very like the parents they fought against.

James Sire describes this set of beliefs as "...a set of presuppositions (assumptions which may be true, partially true or entirely false) which we hold (consciously or subconsciously, consistently or inconsistently) about the basic make-up of our world."

We usually adopt this world view quite when quite young, learning it from our parents and the society we live within. This world view remains largely unquestioned throughout our lives, our adolescent rebellions often having more to do with power struggles and the struggles for autonomy from parental control, than an actual rejection of the values we were taught.

However, it is this unconscious assumption of our "right" world view that makes us uncomfortable when confronted with new understandings in the realms of science, technology, culture or religion. When we do not understand how our worldview shapes our understanding of the world around us, we find it difficult to adapt to our changing world. We may also find it difficult to understand how others around us can have differing beliefs. Thinking ourselves to be "rightly" aligned with the only world view possible, we can start to believe ourselves unique and above those with a differing world view, often to the point that we demonize them.

As an example, it is appalling to read the history of the colonisers and their attitudes toward the "natives" and the "heathens", whom they considered unwashed, stupid, immoral and uncultured. However, that attitude is still quite prevalent, I assure you, in the more "developed" West when they think of the people in the Third World. Only, like most prejudices, it is usually whispered sotto voce from white European to another, people quite aware that is "politically incorrect" to believe so in this day and age.

How often have I heard people say, "I don't have anything against them, but..." This usually implies some belief or attitude that is disapproving at the very least, and the "but" is always followed by a remark that describes some attribute of "them" that the speaker is offering as proof that "they" are not quite up to par in some way.

Here are the 10 "buts" that I usually hear in reference to homosexuals:

1. What they do is unnatural and disgusting.
2. They are destroying the moral fibre of society.
3. They are destroying family values and the basic building blocks of a good society.
4. They shouldn't be allowed around children or to have children or to influence children...
5. Most of them are doing it just because it's the thing to do in Hollywood; or they are trying to recruit people to the lifestyle; or people choose the lifestyle because it's a fashion statement....
6. They are a sign that the culture is a decadent, immoral one, just like Rome before its fall...
7. They are responsible for AIDS
8. None of them have stable faithful relationships
9. Do they have to shove their sexual orientation in our faces all the time?
10. They want special rights.

Each one of the statements above is utter nonsense. I'll save answering each one for another time in more detail, but again I challenge people to examine each one of those statements honestly. What facts do you have to back those statements up? Do you actually know a homosexual person who is guilty of the things you say they do?

In the meantime, it might be helpful to understand the term homophobia and what it means. According to the Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance site, homophobia is a term that is rather loosely bandied about, and can refer to either feelings and ideas of intolerance or actions that express that intolerance.

I want to ask how one can have hateful beliefs and attitudes and not eventually act on them? I have great difficulty believing that anybody can have hateful/fearful feelings without displaying hateful/fearful behavior towards the people about whom they have such beliefs and beliefs.

Here I want to repeat an old story.

An old man told his grandson, "A terrible fight is going on inside me -- a fight
between two wolves. One is evil, and represents hate, anger, arrogance,
intolerance, and superiority . The other is good, and represents joy, peace,
love, tolerance, understanding, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, and
compassion. This same fight is going on inside you, inside every other person
too."

The grandson then asked: "Which wolf will win?"

The old
man replied simply: "The one you feed."
~~~Anon.

Here's hoping some little thing I've said will mean there is more kindness, understanding, caring and compassion in the world!

lists

2009-01-02T00:40:00.003-05:00

I've been a list maker for a long long time. I think I may have even invented lists! So I love the site 43 things! Not the worst place to visit at the beginning of a New Year!

opposites

2008-12-30T10:21:00.002-05:00

I got out of bed this morning, flipped the radio on, only to catch a statement from one of those endless parades of "talking heads" that are asked to give us their expert opinion on every issue that comes up. This guy was saying basically, that the two sides (Israel and the Palestinians in the Gaza strip) both have to own the fact that they are at war. This has gone on so long that neither side is simply seeking justice for wrongs on the other side. Both sides are initiating acts of war against the other. That made imminent sense to me.

Immediately following him, another talking head jumped in and started in on a long harangue, listing the sins of the other (I'm deliberately not naming whose side he was on). To me, this just illustrated the point that somebody in this endlessly repetitive dispute needs to step outside the box, relieve my disgust with the whole mess, and say, "enough, already!"

People often tend to enter "talks" with no intention of hearing the other. Isn't it possible that if we really heard the other, we could create something wonderfully new, like maybe, heaven forbid, peace?

world air traffic

2008-12-25T23:20:00.002-05:00

This strange video shows air traffic patterns over a 24-hr time period. The clusters of flights into and out of major airports is a little unnerving to observe! Just watch!

judges

2008-12-20T10:54:00.006-05:00

I was in a coffee shop recently, sitting quietly in a corner, sipping on my "small with one milk", when I heard one of the staff call, "Excuse me?"

A group of five young ladies, about to walk out the door, stopped.

"I gave you the wrong bagel," the woman said.

"Oh!" One of the young women returned to the counter, handed the woman a paper bag. I noticed a gentleman standing at the counter smile and nod at the girl. His bagel?

Her companions came back into the shop, standing at the counter as the woman behind the counter made the girl the bagel she had asked for. I noticed they were all so young, maybe in their early twenties at most, each very pretty in her own way, but all dressed alike in lululemon yoga tights. They cheerfully chatted quietly amongst themselves, smiling at their friend, telling her not to worry when she apologized for making them wait. They each clutched various combinations of paperbags and coffees-to-go.

The woman behind the counter handed the girl a paper bag, apologizing. The girl thanked her and assured her it was all right.

As the girls headed out the door of the coffee shop again, letting in a blast of the icy wind from outside, I heard a man sitting at one of the other table grumble,

"F------ girls."

Surprised, I looked his way. The man was middle-aged with a pronounced beer-belly. He looked to be a labourer, dressed in the warm coveralls that those who have to work outside in winter weather often wear. He was addressing a grey-haired man, maybe in his seventies, who was sitting in the corner.

"Just cause trouble. Never worked a day in their lives, " the older man agreed.

"Hang around all day," added a third man.

Three men, each sitting about two tables away from each other, nodded in mutual disapproval, smug in their superior what? age? maleness? what?

thievin'

2008-12-18T20:30:00.010-05:00

So! I confess that I contemplated theft today! It's probably a good thing that I'm so forgetful, because I forgot to carry out said theft...

Quite often, at my paying job, people receive gifts of lovely arrangements of house plants. Many of these house plants are incredibly easy to propagate through simple cuttings. Usually, I ask the recipient or their family if it's okay if I take a wee snip of a plant I covet and -- usually -- permission is granted. Other times, we (ie, the staff) receive an arrangement ourselves, and then (I admit it -- so arrest me!), I've been known to take a cutting to grow on at home.

Above, a Martha Washington geranium cutting, which if I remember correctly, came from a plant with blossoms that looked like this. Yikes, all my poor plants are looking a little dry, aren't they??

Now, I don't encourage thievin', but as an incredibly easy and inexpensive source of plants, propagating plants from cuttings is the way to go.

Unknown ivy doesn't mind that I neglect it terribly!

This plant's colour has faded in the north facing window. The colour was a more intense brown-red before. Not sure how much light it tolerates, as I'm not even sure what it is. Anyone?

I've tried all sorts of cuttings, but as regular readers know, I don't do so well with plants in the house or greenhouse, where they have to rely on me remembering to care for them. Plants generally do much better for me outdoors in the garden where Mother Nature cares for them better than I do! There, I just wander outdoors now and then, enjoy the show and get sucked into dead-heading and weeding and watering and mulching because...I don't even know why, actually!!

Still, I see a plant and I can't help wanting it, poor thing!! Daughter wonders why ever I would be trying to grow trees and shrubs, such as the yew cuttings below, on my apartment window sill, right now. Because I think/hope I can?

As a sort-of unrelated aside, among the dumbest things I have read and remembered lately: a well-known Canadian cannabis activist was apparently charged by the U.S. DEA with "conspiracy to produce marijuana, conspiracy to traffic marijuana, and conspiracy to launder the proceeds of crime", and they are seeking his extradition to the U.S. However, he apparently sold marijuana seeds for over ten years in a store in downtown Vancouver BC and through the mail, using the proceeds to wage his own war against the war on drugs. Following me so far?

Here's what I find amusing. If I remember my plant biology correctly, one is more likely to get exactly what you expect (ie, high quality pot if you are a grower) from cuttings than you are from seed. I have no idea what methods grow-ops use, but if you are a gardener that has ever tried growing things from seed, you know that unpredictable things seem to happen more often with plants propagated from seed vs vegetatively or from cuttings (eg. most gardeners probably know you don't want to plant hot peppers close to sweet peppers if you really, really want to be sure you don't get ...whatever you don't want ...mild peppers that are hot, or hot peppers that are mild...) I don't know, but if I wanted to guarantee the quality and salability of my product, I think I'd opt for cuttings vs seeds, even if the prior might be more expensive initially to obtain...

Sorry. Some things just strike me as dumb, but I'll admit, maybe they aren't so dumb. What do I know? I can laugh, can't I? See, I'm imagining some eager pot-head taking all this trouble to grow pot from seed and raising a crop of dud plants, good only for making things like rope or paper! tee hee hee! omg, the more I think about it, the more giggly it is making me!

(It must be all those Christmas chocolates I consumed at work today!)

Turning Kids into Scientists

2008-12-18T20:25:00.002-05:00

News Release: December 19, 2008

Learning Bird Behavior Turns Kids into Scientists
Revised teaching unit is
released from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology

Ithaca, NY--Why is that
crow chasing a hawk? Do birds fly away from noisy places? How long will an
American Robin spend pulling a worm from the ground? The BirdSleuth curriculum
from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology is all about tapping into a child’s natural
curiosity to answer scientific questions in a fun way. The just-released
revision of the Exploring Bird Behavior module offers educators even more
lessons, posters, and multimedia resources. The new student toolkit comes with
two important tools for collecting behavioral information about birds: a
BirdSleuth stopwatch and tally counter.

“Kids love to work with
gadgets,” says Birdsleuth project leader Jennifer Fee. “Give them a stopwatch or
put them in a lab coat, and they transform into little scientists. And then it
becomes easier to explain tricky concepts, such as the difference between a
behavioral event and a behavioral state.” (An event can be counted; a state can
be timed.)

This module also comes with a DVD showing bird behaviors most
students have never seen, including stunning slow-motion video of the exotic
courtship dance of the Greater Sage-Grouse. A 32-page teacher’s guide includes
step-by-step instructions for completing all six lessons, or “investigations.”

The Exploring Bird Behavior module, like the others in the BirdSleuth
series, engages students in inquiry by building lessons and activities around
citizen-science projects from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. This module uses
the Crows Count project. Students count crows and their relatives (ravens,
magpies, and jays), observe their behaviors, and report what they see to the
Cornell Lab where scientists are studying the dynamics of group behavior in
crows.

“BirdSleuth gets kids interested in nature, gets them outside,
and teaches them to think more critically,” says Fee. “They ask questions,
collect data, look for patterns and evidence, test ideas, make conclusions, and
share results.”

To learn more about the new Exploring Bird Behavior
module and about the entire BirdSleuth curriculum, visit
www.birds.cornell.edu/BirdSleuth.edu. The staff is happy to answer any questions
about how to make Birdsleuth a welcome supplement to your existing science
curriculum.

#

Contact:
Jennifer Fee, Project Leader, (607) 254-2403, jms327@cornell.edu
The Cornell Lab of Ornithology is a membership institution dedicated to interpreting and conserving the earth’s biological diversity through research, education, and citizen science focused on birds. Visit the Lab’s web site at www.birds.cornell.edu.

Cornell Lab of Ornithology
159 Sapsucker Woods Rd, Ithaca NY 14850

great fibre project

2008-12-09T17:25:00.002-05:00

thank god for idiots

2008-11-06T21:09:00.003-05:00

Every once in a while you read something about people that is so idiotic that you have the greatest laugh!

Last night, after my run, my friend and I stopped at a Chinese take-out to grab a bite to eat. While waiting for our order, I happened upon this article in the Toronto Star:

Nova Scotia

Less than perfect crime leads to two arrests

Two Halifax men have pleaded not guilty to several charges stemming from a
bungled home invasion on the weekend....They were arrested early Saturday after
two men kicked in the front door of an apartment and demanded cash from the
resident.

The man told the intruders he didn't have money but offered to go to a bank
machine. They agreed and waited in the apartment while he left and called
police.

the garden

2008-10-19T13:51:00.006-05:00

Oh, in case you think all I do is run and work these days, I do also get out into the garden once in a while.

Right now, I'm enjoying the yellow and red leaves on the big maple trees outside my window. In landscaping terms, they are "borrowed elements" from the complex of homes to the north of me, but I don't mind that. I'm also borrowing the trees from the park that is west of me. The trees are MY landscape now. And the colour is glorious!!

I tidied up the little beds I planted this summer in front of the building. I brought the two pots indoors and I'm hoping to overwinter the Pennisetum setaceum ‘Rubrum’ (Common name : Purple Fountain Grass). The Salvia officinalis 'Tricolor' and the Sedum x 'Frosty Morn' I popped in the ground. The Strobilanthes 'Persian Shield' will also hopefully be overwintered indoors, but the Verbena 'Lanai Peach' and the million bells, I discarded.

I regret now that I hardly took any photos of the wee garden and the pots because they did have their moments. Ah well. I can't hold on to everything, no matter how hard I try.

The kidlet across the hall from me put some rubber snakes in the garden this summer, her theory being that they would keep the squirrels away. Not effective against the squirrels, but I'll admit they did give me the heeby-geebies when I cleaned them up in my kitchen sink before giving them back to her. At least I got a "Thank-you" note for my efforts in her sweet childish and spelling & writing, which tickled me no end!

goals

2008-10-16T13:27:00.004-05:00

So, yesterday, I launched my drive for sponsorships for my run in the 10 km international TOYOTA Great Ethiopian Run in Addis Ababa, on November 23. As I am footing all the expenses of travel, etc., all the money I raise will go to Ethiopia Reads.

If you are interested in supporting a great cause, visit Ethiopia Reads! To find out more about my trip, I'll be blogging about it on Running In Ethiopia

bird feeder

2008-10-16T13:13:00.003-05:00

An interesting project here for those who understand how important a connection to nature is to mental, physical, and spiritual health:

"Project FeederWatch Benefits Birds and People
Connection with nature
promotes wellness

Ithaca, NY-More than 100 studies have shown that getting closer to nature reduces stress and promotes a feeling of well-being in children and adults. So, filling feeders and counting the birds that visit may be just what the doctor ordered! For more than 20 years, that’s what participants in the Cornell Lab of Ornithology’s Project FeederWatch have been doing-benefitting themselves and the birds.

"It is a great winter time activity for the whole family," says Alaska FeederWatcher Nancy Darnell. "If you have children, they will come to love watching the birds. All of this is fun and a chance to contribute to scientific studies, too!"

The 2008-09 season of Project FeederWatch gets underway November 8 and runs through April 3. Participants count the numbers and kinds of birds at their feeders each week and send the information to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. Participants submitted more than 115,000 checklists during the 2007-08 FeederWatch season, documenting unusual bird sightings, winter movements, and shifting ranges-a treasure-trove of information that scientists use to monitor the health of the birds and of the environment.

“Being a FeederWatcher is easy and fun, and at the same time helps generate the world’s largest database on feeder-bird populations,” says project leader David Bonter. “We are grateful for the contributions our participants have made for the birds and are proud of the joy they say it brings to their busy lives. Since we started in 1987, more than 40,000 people have submitted observations, engaging with the wildlife beyond their windows.”
“Project FeederWatch opened up a whole new world for me,” says participant Cheri Ryan of Lockport, Kentucky. “It’s so interesting to watch the activities of the birds. I
learn something new each time I participate.”

Scientists learn something new from the data each year, too, whether it’s about the movements of common backyard birds or unusual sightings of rarely-seen species. Highlights of the most recent season include the largest southward movement of Red-breasted Nuthatches in the history of the project-part of an expected influx of
northern birds that fly farther south when their food supplies run short. Other
northern species showing up in record numbers included Common Repolls and Pine
Siskins. Among the rare birds reported was a Streak-backed Oriole in Loveland,
Colorado-the state’s first report of this bird, native to Mexico. A December nor’easter deposited a Dovekie in Newton, Massachusetts, the first time this North Atlantic seabird has ever been reported to Project FeederWatch.

Long-term data show some species increasing in number, such as the Lesser Goldfinch in the Southwest. Other populations continue a downward trend, such as the Evening Grosbeak throughout their range. Once one of the most common species seen at feeders in the northern half of the continent, the grosbeaks are declining for unknown reasons.
Beyond the benefits to birds and science, however, is the benefit to participants. “Nature is not merely an amenity; it is critical to healthy human development and functioning,” says Nancy Wells, Cornell University assistant professor of design and environmental analysis. Her studies find that a view of nature through the window or access to the environment in any way improves a child’s cognitive functioning and reduces the negative effects of stress on the child’s psychological well-being. Wells also notes that when children spent time with nature early in life it carries over to their adult attitudes and behavior toward the environment. (italics mine!!)

Project FeederWatch welcomes participants of all ages and skill levels, from scout
troops and retirees to classrooms and nature center visitors. To learn more and to sign up, visit www.feederwatch.org or call the Lab toll-free at (800) 843-2473. In return for the $15 fee ($12 for Lab members) participants receive the FeederWatcher’s Handbook, an identification poster of the most common feeder
birds in their area, a calendar, complete instructions, and the FeederWatch annual report, Winter Bird Highlights.

Many FeederWatchers echo this comment from Mary Strasser of Wisconsin: “The greatest reward for me as a participant in Project FeederWatch these many years has been observing birds and behavior that I might have missed had I not been part of this project.”

Note: Photos are available at www.feederwatch.org. To find local participants for stories, contact David Bonter at (607) 254-2457 or email dnb23@cornell.edu. Visit the “Explore Data” section of the web site to find the top 25 birds reported in your region, rare bird sightings, and bird summaries by state or province.

Media contact in Canada: Kerrie Wilcox, Bird Studies Canada, (519) 586-3531, kwilcox@bsc-eoc.org

The Cornell Lab of Ornithology is a membership institution dedicated to interpreting and conserving the earth’s biological diversity through research, education, and citizen science focused on birds. Visit the Lab’s web site at http://www.birds.cornell.edu . "

Canadian Thanksgiving

2008-10-15T00:29:00.001-05:00

Dear (friend)
Oh Bizarre! It was supposed to be a busy but pleasant weekend, but it was only confusing, tiring and disappointing. I certainly HOPE your weekend was nicer!I had an absolutely great 12-ish (that's Mary's fault as always!) km run on Friday night -- even with the steep hill on the way back to the Running Room west of Thornton! Then, it went downhill from there. Despite having eaten well, etc., two beers went straight to my head afterwards. Phew! Thank god I wasn't driving.

Then on Sat morning, I was supposed to meet my Amharic tutor. I thought he didn't show, he thought I didn't show, but the whole time, we were sitting at tables in the central hall of the Toronto Research Library, merely yards apart, his nose in a book, me with my back to him, looking for him to come in the main doors. He didn't have his cell phone, I couldn't reach him...I went back to Oshawa, hoping to have a good breakfast (never mind! my schedule is ...um...one that works for me, okay?)

Somebody told me that they have good breakfasts with fruit, etc. at Dines. Okay. So I went there only to discover that it was a pretty run-of-the-mill greasy spoon. No fresh fruit for you, idiot! So I had an omelet, all the while cursing myself for forgetting how many greasy meals I had "enjoyed " at this certain fat@#$%& friend's house! (okay, I admit, I was starting to feel like being really, really mean!)

So I went home, had a nap. Now, midday naps usually leave me feeling even more mean. But I forced myself to get up. I shopped for my groceries. Then I was too tired to put them away except for the stuff that just absolutely had to go in the freezer or fridge, OR ELSE!!!I fell asleep on the couch in front of the tv and got an awful crink in my neck. I woke up and stumbled into bed at about 3 am.

I had sensibly set the alarm, so I didn't oversleep and miss my Sunday morning run. It was supposed to be a long,slow,steady 20km loop up to Winchester Drive, then back down Thornton. The weather was perfect. Sunny, cool, no wind. I figured out pretty quickly that Jim was setting an awfully fast pace. This was no LDS, even for him. Damn. But I hate running alone, as nobody else running this morning runs at my much slower pace. Damn. I kept up with them all the way to Rossland Road, on the home stretch. By Adelaide, I lost them. Thank god Kieran's foot was bothering him and Mary had indigestion...Anyway, I made it up that hill on King St. west of Thornton, back to the Running Room on Thickson. And Jim and Mary are congratulating me, saying they think I'm getting really fast...HUH??I'm dying here, running MY race pace or better on what was supposed to be a nice easy LSD!!! Is everybody crazy, me most of all??? We went for our usual coffee etc and I almost puked up my muffin and coffee I was so wiped out.

I went home for a nap. When I woke up, it was just going on 3 o'clock. There was a message on my machine saying Jim made a mistake, he was running with a bunch at 8:30 am, Mary's bunch running at 10:30. I could choose from two groups to run with, Monday morning. There was a message from work asking if I'd like to work the day shift, 7 am to 3pm, instead of the evening shift I was scheduled for. Bonus, I thought, miss a run but, this way, I would be able to have Thanksgiving dinner with either my daughter and her husband's family or at Mary's, or hey, even both -- I mean Mary's party would be "-ish", which means it would stretch into the wee hours!! I phoned work. Noooo...the secretary on now didn't know about needs for the day shift. She was told the staffing was okay. Hopes dashed.

Monday, I was still shattered. Man, I felt like I'd run a half-marathon everyday for a week! Run at 8:30??forget it. Run at 10:30?? Ummm...aahhh....naaaw....vegetate....tv....yikes! I have to get ready for work!!!Dull brain, sluggish brain, tired tired tired at work all evening! Missed Thanksgiving altogether. Missed running. Nobody loves me.

Tuesday, oh YEAH! The groceries! The laundry! Hurry, hurry, hurry! Catch up! I thought long weekends were supposed to be relaxing? I obviously don't have the hang of how to do weekends. Really hope yours was better.

Later,
Kati

no me

2008-10-14T00:19:00.001-05:00

Please read this article about Ethiopia Reads published in the Good Housekeeping magazine:

http://www.ethiopiareads.org/pdfs/gharticle.pdf

donkey

2008-10-13T23:01:00.003-05:00

...see, I have always loved donkeys!!

gracias a la vida

2008-10-04T15:26:00.001-05:00

Ain't life grand? Here I am all stuffed up, the pressure in the front of my face tempting me to rip my nose off. But what can I say?

I'm looking out my workroom window, enjoying the parade of birds travelling through the maple trees, blue jays, cow birds, blackbirds, little things I can't identify...I saw several skeins of geese flying south too.

The leaves on one of the maples are edged in red and gold, the centres still green. The other maple's leaves are turning red, the veins highlighted in pale green or gold.

I'm cold and hot by turns, as my body freaks out, trying to regulate my body temperature and fight off a silly, drippy cold.

But still, I'm elated. Dumb, huh? Can't help it. Just sitting here, listening to my music and watching the leaves gently moving in the breeze in the dying light of a grey, cold day -- there's something gorgeous about that too. I don't know what it is. It must be the melancholy Finn in me that loves the richness of the minor keys.

Gracias A La Vida - Mercedes Sosa

Aster

2008-10-02T09:21:00.000-05:00

Kabu Tenedobign - Aster Aweke

my books

2008-09-29T18:59:00.008-05:00

As so many of my friends and readers here know, I've been struggling to get my books unpacked. Finally, with lots and lots of help from my friend, Lalith, I bought some bookcases at IKEA, we put them together, and here we are: I'm unpacking my books!

Nearly done. I believe the remaining boxes contain books that I plan to keep in my work-room.

At last, I can see an end to the unpacking. I think I'll put on a pot of tea, put my feet up and re-read one of my favorite books.

race day

2008-09-29T10:12:00.006-05:00

My friend Jim and I, at the pasta supper on the eve of our first 1/2 marathon race.

All packed and ready to go, I tried to get to sleep early, finally falling into bed at around 10 pm. Could I sleep? Oh no.

I had had a very exciting lesson with my Amharic tutor in Toronto, Saturday morning. He asked me if it would be okay with me if he gave me the names of some people I could visit and stay with in Addis, and if I'd have room in my luggage for a few items he and his wife would like to send to their family in Addis.

It would make my dreams come true! Imagine, not having to stay in some impersonal hotel room, but to be invited into somebody's home! Why would I say no to that??

And, I had already planned on taking two suitcases: a larger suitcase filled with clothing, etc., that would hopefully benefit somebody, and just stuffing my smaller suitcase into the larger, for my return trip.

Then, I barely had time to do some laundry, so that my running gear would be clean and dry for the morning, before dashing out again to a pasta supper with the gang on the eve of our big race.

It seemed so difficult to turn my mind off, to get to sleep, because I just wanted to think about all the exciting possibilities before me. Back and forth, my thoughts flicked from wondering how the race would go to imagining what my upcoming trip to Ethiopia will be like.

I did finally sleep, but I woke up at midnight, at 3 am, & at 3:20 am. Finally giving up at 3:40 am, I got out of bed to eat a runner's breakfast of rolled oats (raw), organic meusli, slivered almonds, plain yogurt and pineapple. Shower, dress, another paranoid check of my check-list.

eload capsules (my stomach goes into knots with Gatorade as an electrolyte supplement during races) -- check
GU (one of my favorite energy gels to restore energy consumed during a race, plus it's tolerated by my stomach and tastebuds) -- check
change of clothes and warmup jacket for after the race -- check
cellphone in case I lose my running buddies after the race -- check
receipt to present (if needed, as I prepaid for this) for my 15 minute massage post race -- check
camera -- check
$20 in a pocket of my belt in case I need it after the race -- check

Okay: I'm dressed. Race bib is not upside down (how embarrassing!).Timing chip is secured to my shoe. I have my hair-elastics and running cap to keep my hair & the sun/rain out of my eyes.

Last minute thoughts: throw in plastic containers of fruit, of cereal, left-over rice & curry (not eaten.) Add a pullover to my bag in case it's cold by the lake ( I used the pullover because I got rid of the mylar blanket provided after the race too soon and had to retrieve the pullover from the car when I started to chill.)

The race itself was an incredible experience. And many, many thanks go to Mary and Kieran, our 1/2 marathon clinic leaders, for their time, dedication and insights. Andrew (our 2:15 pacer)ran with me for over 1/2 of the race, bathroom break and all, encouraging me to keep going. Davey G. (the 1:50 pacer) popped up near the 19 km mark to cheer me on (it's wonderful when somebody pronounces my name right from the sidelines!). As I approached the last uphill and the last 800 m, I thought of my mom and my kids, particularly my son, and I ran for them. Some fool at the 700m mark thought it would be encouraging to yell "only 700 m to go..." It might have as well have been 700 km. Not helpful. At 300 m I was determined not to walk. I was determined I'd run in, one step at a time, and finish standing up and smiling. At 100 m, I heard my name again, but couldn't look to see who it was. I realized later that it must have been Chris and Wade. Thanks, guys!!

An amazing feeling. Sweaty, congratulatory hugs all around. Then my wonderful massage...

Of course we had to stay to watch the full-marathon runners come in. Mary & Kieran were special to us, having been our clinic leaders for the 10 km, and then the 1/2!

No pics allowed of the party after the race. I certainly wasn't up to operating a camera any more. I had already taken about 2 min worth of video featuring my left shoe at one point...

A beer on arrival back in Whitby, another at Melanie Pringle's, a marguerita & mexican fare at the Mexican restaurant at Taunton and Gerrard...I felt so tired and fuzzy when I got home, I could barely find the cold water tap for a therapeutic bath for my tired legs (brrrr! still an insane things to do -- sorry, Davey G.! -- but I've gotta believe it helped).

anxiety

2008-09-25T16:53:00.000-05:00

Some days are just weird, aren't they? The alarm goes, or was it some noise outside? Somebody across the park, or is it farther -- how sound carries at night! -- is screaming, angry. You're disorientated. What day is it? Or is it night? It's dark.

Aaah, you think. You remember now, it's the weekend, and you have the day off. You remember thinking about it when you went to sleep, how nice it is to have a long weekend off. It's the big weekend, too, of the race. No, no. What day is it??

Now, you are finally really awake. That's actually the d*** alarm going off. Why would you set the alarm if you had planned to sleep in on your day off? What day is it??

Oh, yeah. It's...let's see...it's Thursday. You still have this one day of work to put in before your long weekend starts...aaaargh! You have to get out of bed. It's still so dark when you have to get up in the morning these days! You have to get ready for work while it's still dark.

a rainy evening & partying

2008-09-17T11:29:00.010-05:00

Recently, I was accused of partying all the time, and if you were to judge by my last weekend, that might be true!

Friday night, due to our forgetting that the Reference Library closes early on Fridays, my Amharic tutor and I moved our location to a nearby pub...and after a bite to eat and a couple of beers -- and a tiny table that couldn't be expected to accommodate our books -- we gave up on the lesson and had a wonderful conversation about politics, alternative remedies and books instead!

Then on Saturday, my daughter and granddaughter joined me to go to Toronto for the celebration of the Ethiopian New Year at Christie Pits Park. My Amharic teacher and his wife invited us to enjoy some Ethiopian coffee.

My daughter and granddaughter had to leave early to go on to a friend's birthday party. I stayed on and as the afternoon brought rain, it also brought music and dancers at the band stand!

I think daughter and granddaughter missed the best part...

By the time I got back home, it was after 1 am, I was soaking wet and tired, but still too happy to go to sleep immediately, dancing around to the Aster Aweke cd I bought called Kabu (sacred rock). I am also determined that I will take advantage of the offer from my Amharic tutor's wife to teach me to dance the iskita.

Hmmmnn...add that to wanting to join a group locally that my best friend's daughter is trying to organize to do belly dancing...I have no idea how I'll fit it all in!...I used to say 350 years, now I need to live 400 years. But I am reminded of a line from the movie Shirley Valentine in which Shirley says

"I have led such a little life, I have allowed myself to lead this little
life when inside there is so much more. And it has all gone unused, and now it
never will be. Why do we get all these feelings and dreams and hopes if we don't
ever use them? That is how Shirley Valentine disappeared, she got lost in all
this unused life."

So, in that spirit, I plunge in, embracing whatever opportunities come my way, planning to arrive at the end, all used up, even if a little frazzled!

Sunday, I ran 20 km, from the Whitby Running Room location to Brooklin and back -- for those who will be impressed by the local references. I just laugh at myself, recalling how, back when I was running only 5 or 10 km, I marvelled at the 1/2 marathon and marathon clinic groups talking about running as far as Brooklin. It just goes to show, you never really know what you can or cannot do, until you make a dedicated effort towards reaching your goals!

In the afternoon, after a short nap (required because I was a little sleep deprived due to my late Saturday night!), I went shopping for groceries. That's not the party part, because I hate that chore; the party part is that I love having yummy and healthy food choices in the fridge for the following week!

Oh, and another bit of good news: I got those bookcases up with lot of help from my friend, Lalith. I can finally, FINALLY, unpack my beloved books! And I'm having just as much fun unpacking them, playing with the memories that handling each book brings back, as I did when I packed them months ago!

real food

2008-09-17T10:43:00.002-05:00

How to teach kids about healthy eating? There's lots of information out there, but it's all of no use if you can't find a way to get the kids interested and invested in eating for health as well as enjoyment.

Manufacturers and the fast-food/restaurant industry certainly are not going to do much to help parents find healthy alternatives for their kids. According to a recent story on cbc, nearly every combination of kids' menus out there is too high in calories and low on nutritional value. And we already know that the more food is processed and packaged, the more fat and sugar tend to be added and nutritional value removed.

A treat, in a kids mind, tends to be a sweet or fatty snack like a cookie or potato chips. And this gramma has already admitted here to being a failure as a snack-providing gramma to adored Granddaughter, who severely chastised this undersigned gramma for not obligingly providing the things Granddaughter likes to eat! Granddaughter's opinion was that grammas are supposed to do things grandchildren like. This gramma informed Granddaughter that there are all kinds of grammas in the world, and this gramma doesn't often have treats around that are sugary or fatty simply because this gramma doesn't have the willpower to avoid eating them all -- at one sitting! -- if they are around.

A recent teary confrontation between my daughter and Granddaughter around the healthy eating issue, had me wondering what is out there to help kids unlearn bad habits, and learn healthy new ones.

Here are some of the interesting links I found.

First, some parenting skills are in order. Here, some clear ideas as to when parents must take charge, and when kids can appropriately make independent choices, from Fit and Healthy Kids.

Some general guidelines as parents send kids back to school from EatRightOntario. And for some practical information about some of the nutrition issues that children face and how to correct or address these problems, check out Child/Toddler Nutrition.

PBS, always a reliable resource, has this for parents, as well as It's My Life: Body, which includes food smarts for kids .

festive plans

2008-09-05T23:58:00.002-05:00

"Ethiopian-Canadian Day Celebration, established in 1999, is an annual event held every September to celebrate Ethiopian New Year and the multicultural diversity of Toronto.

The Ethiopian calendar consists of 13 months: 12 months with 30 days and 1 month (Pagume) with of 5 or 6 days in leap years. Ethiopian calendar is seven years and eight months behind the Gregorian calendar. Enkutatash - the Ethiopian New Year is celebrated on September 11 or 12th according to the Western or Gregorian calendar or September 1st according to the Ethiopian calendar. Enkutatash is an important festival in lives of Ethiopians.

This year the Ethiopian Association in the GTA and Surrounding Regions cordially invites you to celebrate Ethiopian New Year on:

Saturday, September 13, 2008
@ Christie Pits Park
10:00AM to 11:00 PM"

http://www.ethiopiancanadianday08.ca/

petty crimes and little criminals

2008-08-27T17:05:00.017-05:00

This is a very dramatic garden story that involves wanton destruction, spying, nasty rumours and even poison...

The story involves the flower beds and pots that I planted up in front of my apartment building. Naturally it attracted lots of attention. And almost immediately, nasty holes appeared in the new flower beds, plants were dislodged and blame had to laid at somebody's door.

(note clue to poison in photo at the feet of the pot...!)

I had my suspicions it might be critters of some sort. After all, squirrels and raccoons thrive in urban and suburban spaces with impunity. Some people blamed kids in the neighborhood. Some even named names of this or that particular child! So, the war began and one or two tenants began to watch out for the culprits.

Discussions took place and advice was sought. Expert opinions were solicited. And the news was brought back to me that a consensus was emerging that is was the squirrels.

Unfortunately, along with the opinions as to the culprits, many suggestions for remedies were also dispensed. Then, unfortunately, the solution most tenaciously embraced and held by one of the tenants who is most deeply invested (besides me) in guardianship of the little garden is also the most offensive solution (to me, at least): mothballs.

Yup, you heard me. Mothballs were promptly purchased and liberally sprinkled all over the flower beds.

Now, it is rather questionable if the mothballs deter the squirrels even a little bit. But, they are replenished regularly after rains, etc. by our self-appointed guardian. The merest hint that the squirrels are digging and throwing dirt and plants around less today than yesterday is firmly added to the pro side. Evidence that the squirrels merely dig, just as vigorously as before, only in locations between mothballs, only gets added to the pro side as well. In fact, I'm beginning to fear that The Guardian would cover the flower beds in mothballs until they are as white snowbanks, if given the slightest encouragement.

(note evidence of squirrels digging between mothballs!)

Now, my concerns about mothballs being toxic to animals and children aside, I despise the smell. No worries! The Guardian sits on the front step, entertained by the comings and goings of the neighborhood, all the while happily inhaling the mothball smell which she confesses to love! Oh dear...

I think it's wonderful that my wee garden is of any interest at all (even somewhat important!) to some of the tenants. And that The Guardian has taken such an ownership of the welfare of the garden is a good thing...but I'm becoming increasingly worried that sitting out there inhaling the noxious fumes might be doing funny things to her mind....

...meanwhile, I continue to periodically toddle out there to scrape the soil off the lawn back into the flower beds... I'm thinking I must buy some more mulch... the last few rain-less days have been hard on the new beds and flower pots...and it seems like the beds that are mulched have suffered much less in the maurauding, digging-raids of the squirrels! In other words, I'm drawing my own conclusions!

(note protective mulch in flower beds! white stuff at top of photo are from shattered roses only -- not more mothballs!)

Maple Lake

2008-08-20T12:07:00.018-05:00

I am recovering (ie, coming back down to earth!), from a wonderfully invigorating and entertaining all girls' weekend at a friend's cottage.

We did all the usual things girls do: eat a lot (the prescription was q2h and prn!!), drink a lot, talk, dance and laugh! Oh, did I mention that we laughed? A lot!!

The theme was "Blue Hawaii", so above, one of the ladies is over-the-top, in her unique, whole-hearted and exuberant way, into the theme! Don't you just love it?? What an amazing person you are, M. !!

Here, another one of the women whose friendship I treasure, with her marvelous purple hair, and though wont to wear battle fatigues or black to work, looks edgier than she actually is.

An event such as this serves to remind me of the incredible strength and beauty each of my female friends possesses! I would like to take more time to describe some of them to you someday. So many complex personalities. So many interesting stories. So many battles they have fought and won -- and are still fighting! I am humbly honoured to have been able to share the weekend with them!

I joined my friend, Kim, for a walk around the lake in the middle of the day, Saturday.

My good friend, Kim, in front of St. Peter's Anglican Church on Maple Lake, Ontario. While we were there, it was being visited by some black-leather garbed people on motorcycles. And I noticed that they were checking out headstones in the small graveyard behind the church.

I enjoyed this strange little architectural detail. It could be called "how to handle a change in levels within a regular repeating pattern".

We partied into the night, enjoying marshmallows toasted in the fire, then dipped in Bailey's!What decadence, eh?

Notice the sparks in the photo above?

I'm at the far left in the photo above, thoroughly blissed out by the fire.

Sunday morning. Most of us don't look too bad, considering we've been celebrating for nearly two days straight. Our awesome hostess, standing in the black t-shirt, believes Elvis still lives, therefore the "Blue Hawaii" theme for our weekend.

I was not oblivious to the flowers in I.'s garden either.

Me, relaxing after a gorgeous 20 km run around Maple and Green Lakes. Some long steep hills, but mostly a pleasant run along scenic lakefront in one of Ontario's most beautiful cottage country/holiday areas. I also got a short 5 km run in on the Saturday morning. Can't be slacking off on my training for the Scotia 1/2 marathon in Toronto in September!

happiness

2008-08-14T15:15:00.001-05:00

Ethiopia reads

2008-08-14T12:47:00.003-05:00

I hope you took a few minutes to view these videos! I expect it is impossible for me to describe the joy they bring me on so many levels. Most personal, is hearing the language of my childhood. My parents were missionaries in Ethiopia many, many years ago. The first memories ever that I have involve the music of the Amharic language, the dust and sun of northern Ethiopia and the smells and flavors of wot and injera cooked over charcoal and eucalyptus. In fact, for many years, I'm told, I thought every animal was some version of a donkey, large or small, even the first giraffe I saw in a zoo. Yup, it was "such a very large donkey", to the eternal amusement of my parents.

My friends know I love my books. I was raised surrounded by books. I have many memories of one of my parents reading to me and my sister and brothers, night after night. Later, in Helsinki, I was introduced to the children's department in a library near my home by my best friend, Sari. I did not know I could take the books home. I was far too shy to even look the librarians in the eye. But day after day, that last summer we spent in Finland before coming to Canada, I crept into the library, took a stack of books off the shelf, sat at one of the child-sized tables to read and got lost in a world of wonder and imagination.

I read about Curious George. I read about Babar the Elephant. I read beautifully illustrated Russian fairy tales. I read and read and read. Hours later, I would emerge to blink at the summer sunshine and stumble home, my imagination stimulated, and a little worried that I might have be late for dinner.

When we came to Canada, my father began the custom of taking us to the library once a week. We were allowed to borrow 8 books each (library rules). My father tried to steer our reading towards biographies, history and science. But we slipped in lots of fantasy too! Imagine: every week, for several years, each of us read 40 books, thanks to having 4 siblings!

I remember an argument my parents had when I was about 12 or 14. Xaviera Hollander's book, The Happy Hooker, appeared in my mother's closet (where I was snooping, I admit), so naturally I had to read it. I thought it might be a source of trouble, but I was terribly curious and I read it. Of course, my father found me reading it and as I quickly blamed my mother, a fight ensued. I'll never forget my mother saying she would rather her children read about the world than having to find out things the hard way by having to live everything, an argument for which my poor dad had no answer!

That has been my belief ever since. Knowledge is power. Without knowledge, nobody can make wise or informed decisions. Now, I find I don't have the time to read about everything that makes me curious! Ah me! Life is just too short.

Anyway, back to Ethiopia Reads. I am going to Ethiopia, as you already know, in November, to run in the 10 km Great Ethiopian Race in Addis Ababa. What I want you to do is to check out Ethiopia Reads' website. They are also now on Facebook. Most certainly, donate if you can. Or, tell your friends about Ethiopia Reads, or just wish me luck in the race in November.

Someone recently grumbled to me that he could not see how anything he did could help someone in Africa (or any other troubled part of the world). Okay, I admit I'm a naively hopeful bleeding-heart liberal. But I cannot believe anybody is that much of an ostrich that he really believes what he buys, what he consumes, how he lives, what he says and who he votes to govern his country, does not have some impact on somebody else in the most far-flung corners of the world! It is impossible to believe our actions do not affect others! I love the image of the butterfly wing causing a hurricane on the other side of the world.

So, let's give a few kids the opportunity to read, to imagine, to play with ideas. And let's see what might happen!

a deep breath

2008-07-28T12:37:00.012-05:00

After several non-stop days (I'm not complaining as the busy-ness was all of my own choosing!), I spent a couple hours re-visiting several favorite bloggers this morning.

As usual, my favorite bloggers are open to being awed by their gardens and by life, and are generous in sharing that with the rest of us. To borrow a quote, " awe is what feeds the soul". Besides enjoying beautiful photographs of flowers, bugs, animals and landscapes, there were the thoughts, the questions and the beautifully phrased writing to enjoy.

One of the first questions that brought me to a stop was this by Autumn Cottage Diarist , who asked : Tell me about your desk or table - what does it say about you today? Oh dear! Oh dear! Do I have the courage to show you my desk?? I think not!

Then I noticed that Kate (of Kate Smudges) recently had an open garden day! Again, I asked myself, would I want an open garden day? Certainly not!

There are so many things in my life that have me screaming, I'm not ready! It's funny how at the same time one of my acquaintances is complementing me on my accomplishments, I am saying very loudly in my head " no, no, no! I'm not ready!" You see, this area or that, this project or that, this aspiration or that, is far, far short of the ideal picture of it that I have in my head, the ideal that I think I must reach before sharing it with you!

Certainly, some projects go better if one shares the process with others. And then, other projects just seem to be more tender and fragile, more likely to be trampled upon by certain people in your life. And yet again, some parts of your life are unfairly tormented by standards of perfection that you don't subscribe to, in your heart of hearts, but you are vulnerable in some way, to the judgments of people in your life who are important to you and who hold those unfair standards!

All those thoughts have gone tumbling through my head today as I slowly recover from my weekend of frenetic activity.

This weekend, I ran the 1/4 marathon locally on Saturday, coming in at a satisfactory 68 min 2 sec and third in my class! The rains held off until the end of the race. During the awards ceremony, one of a steady march of threatening thunderstorms broke directly overhead, dumping rain and hailstones down on us. Already soaked to the skin with sweat, I didn't have time to dry off before the rain washed over me and hail stung my shoulders. However, I'm more or less certain that I managed to improve upon my personal best by a minute or so.

I also volunteered at the Whitby Waterfront Races on Sunday, learning about what it's like to run a 1/2 marathon by watching the runners pass by my water-station, as well as cheering on my running buddies who had entered the 10 km and 1/2 marathon events. The cool early-morning start made for a buggy morning, with mosquitoes an annoying presence everywhere. By mid-morning the temperatures had climbed and runners fooled into starting too fast were struggling with heat and exhaustion.

Nancy entered a walking event while her husband, who is in the same 1/2-marathon clinic as I am, chose to volunteer for this day. Jim was also resting up after coming in 3rd in his age group in the 1/4 marathon event the day before! You look very important in your orange vest, Jim!

Kieran and Mary, our intrepid and slightly crazy clinic leaders (through the local Running Room store), ran the 1/2 marathon event. Here, in the dawn light pre-race, they look fresh and ready to go, don't they?

Getting the timing-chips on!

Henry (in the green shirt) entered the 10 km event and Kieran playing with a water bottle.

Jim, again, discussing race strategy with our other Jim, who entered the 10 km event.

Busy with our duties at the turn-around point and water-station, respectively, neither Jim or I had time for more photos until the end of the race.

After we had packed up and returned to the Yacht Club, we were privileged to watch a blind runner we had already admired out on the race-cource, just as she crossed the finish line!

Those two events pretty much ate up my free time and energy, and mid-day naps notwithstanding, I was quite tired by the time I had to work my evening-shift at my paying job on Sunday! Passing by the OVBG on my way to work, it was a relief to see the raised beds of the formal plantings are looking good despite relentless rains and flooding.

miscellaneous pretties

2008-07-24T16:19:00.010-05:00

Out and about today, here are some more of the plantings I enjoyed in my neighborhood.

more lilies

2008-07-24T16:12:00.005-05:00

more OVBG

2008-07-24T15:58:00.013-05:00

floods

2008-07-24T14:37:00.017-05:00

He said, "It's not going to hit us. It's passing north of us. Brooklin is going to get it."

But the sky was so very black as we looked out the windows at work yesterday. The wind was kicking up and there was lighting.

"Believe me," he said. "Brooklin is going to get it, not us."

At lunch time, the sky was positively ominous, but the barbecue out in the hospital court went on. I had my veggie burger lunch and went back to work.

But then the rain started to bucket down. And then, so quickly, it was over. Then the rumours started trickling in.

"Taunton Road is flooded. It's blocked. Firetrucks are there. Vehicles are stranded."

"Ritson Road is flooded." I pictured all the low spots near creeks and rivers that I'm acquainted with around this city.

"Yeah, the man was just standing there, looking at his house. The tree fell between the houses...He was just standing there, looking at his house. The tree smashed in the corner of his roof and tore off the eavestrough..."

By the time I was finished at work, the rain had stopped.

As usual, I walked through the OVBG on my way home. When I got to the gardens, I realized I'd have to make a detour because the formal gardens were flooded. I wondered if I would be able to cross the bridge!

looking down into the formal gardens from McMillan Drive

looking southward from the path on the east side of the bridge

looking northward, toward the formal gardens, from the path east of the bridge

looking westwards

looking northeast, towards the formal gardens

looking eastwards

Today, I went back to have a look, hoping there would not be too much damage. There is obviously some debris that marks the top reaches of the flood.

The formal garden's plantings are intact, although some of the logs that make the raised beds were shifted and will have to be put back into place. Some soil has washed away. The steps were also dislodged by the flood waters. Silt has muddied up the pathways and covers some of the plantings.

I talked a little with one of the park's gardeners today. She said she spent some of her morning today lifting tiny rainbow trout back into the river. They were splashing about, stranded in the puddles left behind when the flood waters receded. She hesitantly hoped for a little, gentle rain to wash the mud off the flowers...

This is our rainiest summer on record, I believe.

Lisa's story continues...

2008-07-21T11:25:00.007-05:00

This story doesn't need words, does it!

like a weed

2008-07-21T11:15:00.006-05:00

Right! So you all know my opinion on weeds -- ambivalent. Love 'em in a meadow like this one, where each season brings new surprises. I'm sure that Mother Nature does not consider any plant to be a pest or useless and She comes up with the most creative, eclectic combinations of all in her landscape designs! Not so sure how I feel about the weeds in my garden...

However, it's a sure thing that weeds will grow, just like kidlets.

Here, Granddaughter is outgrowing her bicycle. Isn't she the cutest thing ever??

lilies of the field

2008-07-19T19:15:00.000-05:00

Ah! The peonies have shattered and the spent blooms have been deadheaded. Now, the glory of the Oshawa Valley Botanical Gardens is in the lilies.

It is at the edge of a petal that love waits. - William Carlos Williams

Jennie

2008-07-19T17:38:00.008-05:00

June in Ontario brings peonies and weddings.

My best friend's oldest daughter, Jennie, got married in June with peonies! Um, I mean peonies were the flower she chose for her bouquets, and she got married to Alec! Is that a bit more clear?

Aren't the co-maids of honour cute? (The two younger sisters of the bride, they made a lovely, weepy, giggly co-speech at the reception too!)

Here, my best friend's emotional reading grabs at my heart too and I well up with tears at the mystery that love is.

Jennie and Alec, who met when they were 15 and loved each other for 10 years through thick and thin, are now married!

June & peonies

2008-07-19T16:21:00.021-05:00

Back in June, I wandered through the Oshawa Valley Botanical Gardens on my way to work and nearly didn't make it. How tempting it was to just lie down in the early dawn light and just let the peonies' lush blooms open and fall down around me!

As it happens, one of my dearest friend's daughter also got married in June, and her flower was the peony. (see next story)

It would be impossible for me to show you all the gorgeous varieties, and I definitely have no idea which would be my favorite. So. Trying to be brief, here are some random photos of the peony garden in June.

'Brides Dream':

'Mahogany':

'Coral Charm':

'Nice Gal':

'Cytherea':

'Le Jour':

'Mrs. Livingston Farrand':

'Kuenu Jishia':

'Irene May Gilbert':

'President Lincoln':

'Ruth Clay':

'Many Happy Returns':

'Garden Treasure':

Lisa's garden

2008-07-13T12:05:00.008-05:00

One of the delightful new acquaintances I have made is all because of this generous, exuberant garden that we passersby get to enjoy. Lisa insists she does not do this for any public recognition, only for her own enjoyment. But surely I am not the only one that is enormously grateful to be able to enjoy her garden as I pass her house on my runs or on my way to work!

I could stop and take a million photos every day, but I must resist!! Poor Lisa would be sure to tire of me lurking about her gardens with my camera, wouldn't she?? And yet, even these photos from a couple of weeks ago remind me of the season plunging on so quickly, masses of new blooms that have come on as the old ones have faded, flowers whose bloom I glimpsed so briefly and longed to photograph to share with you...

No, no, no. I'll just have to take the camera with me again soon and lurk in Lisa's garden again -- perhaps tomorrow! You wouldn't believe all the new things that are in bloom!