lots of snow

I spent most of the day yesterday, trying to finish cleaning out my old place. Of course, I didn't finish in time. My landlords did say it would be ok if I needed a few more days. Yes, I think I will.

The most idiotic thing is all the boxes of papers I have saved. I have probably moved them from place to place 3 or 4 times now! What's in them? I no longer really remember, not trusting the labels on the outside either, because I sometimes raid boxes for things I need...It is really , really time to throw those boxes out. But what if my diary from my first trip to Europe when I was 14 is in one of those boxes...? Yup, that's my pathetic excuse for being a pack-rat to the tune of...about....10 boxes.....hard to say exactly...hard to admit what a packrat I am!

It was miserable and grey yesterday, rain melting the snow down to very icy patches where it had been packed down.

This morning, I awoke to whiteness. Big fluffy whiteness on all the tree branches I could see out my bedroom window. Now, a wind has come up and it is shaking off some of the snow at time so that it looks like it is snowing again. The birds hopping about in the apple tree outside are disturbing the snow, making it fall in soft wet bundles. Dimples now mark the surface of the ground where the snow was smooth this morning.

I'm depressed today because I'm tired and sore. I did try to pace myself yesterday with the heavy lifting stuff. But still, one does try to accomplish a little bit so one feels like one is making some headway!

Can't do much this morning as I try to conserve my energy for a shift later today at my paying job.

I read a comment on Basha's garden about publicly made plans/promises.

Valentines--I bought a bunch, and intended to send them to my father, my
stepmother, my three brothers, and my sister. With every intention to do so, and
to keep on making my amends to my family, I walked over to the drugstore on my
lunch hour and bought them. All pink and shiny, and full of loving sentiment. I
also planned to write a letter and put it inside each one.What happened? It is
now Friday, and I didn't send one. I wanted to, but I couldn't get to it. Is
this my unconscious working against me? I've decided to just send them anyway,
minus the letter, and post them tomorrow, Saturday. And they will be late. No
one is expecting them anyway, so they will all still be surprised to get one.
Unless they happen to read this blog, in which case they will probably be
surprised anyway that I actually followed through

As I've been contemplating my mother's upcoming 80th birthday, I've been wondering how to surprise her...it will not be an easy task...then wondering if she reads this...then worried she won't be surprised. But then maybe she will after all, as so many of my plans never come to pass.
Again, I experienced that delight of reading another human being struggling with the same things I do. Not exactly misery loves company. I mean it more in the sense that shared frailty gives me permission to forgive myself, and it is more blessed to forgive--no, no, that was "give" not forgive! Oh well.